Money being tight, we are ordering 8 stone 7 lbs. of theology for the drawing-room. * * * * * "The Government has introduced another Bill to regulate the sale of milk and the inspection of dairies. This disgracefully dilutory Parliament of ours has been playing with similar Bills for five years."--_Daily Herald._ The dilutory milkman is really more to blame. * * * * * MEDIATION. [SCENE--_A room at Niagara Falls. The Argentine, the Brazilian and the Chilian mediators are mediating; that is to say, they are sitting on rocking chairs not very close to a large table covered with papers, pens, ink, etc. A deep noise of falling water pervades the air. Out of compliment to Canada the conversation is carried on in English._] _Argentine Mediator._ Cold, isn't it? _Brazilian Mediator._ Yes, there's a great deal of cold in the atmosphere. _Chilian Mediator._ We often get it colder than this in Chili. (_A pause._) _A. M._ There's a lot of water coming down. _B. M._ Yes, and it keeps coming, too, doesn't it? _C. M._ It isn't as noisy as I thought it would be, though. _A. M._ Oh, I don't know. It's quite noisy enough. _B. M._ Yes, it's very difficult to concentrate one's mind. We've got a waterfall in Brazil which has the same effect. You can't do any work near it. People go there for a rest-cure. _C. M._ There are a good many waterfalls in Chili, too, and they make more noise than this one. (_A pause._) _A. M._ How long do you think we shall be here? _B. M._ A week, or a month, or a year--I don't know. _C. M._ It's a dull place, isn't it? _A. M._ Yes, it is, dull as ditchwater. _B. M._ Dull as a ditchwaterfall. Ha, ha. _C. M. and A. M. (together)._ Ha, ha. That's capital. _B. M._ You fellows must remind me to telegraph that home to Brazil. _A. M._ By the way, I see ROOSEVELT has been in Brazil. _B. M._ Yes; isn't it awful? _G. M._ Discovered a river, hasn't he? _B. M._ Something of that sort. He'll discover the world next. _A. M._ Anyhow, I'm glad he's not here. _B. M._ By Jove, yes. Wouldn't it be dreadful if he were? _C. M._ Don't. You make my flesh creep. _B. M._ After all, I'm not sure he's worse than WILSON. They're all alike, these Yankees. I've no use for them and their MONROE Doctrine; have you? _A. M._ Not the slightest. If they think we're children they'll soon find out their mistake. _C. M._ Hear, hear! (_A pause._) _A. M._ Anything new from Mexico? _B. M._ No. Same old game. _C. M._ What's HUERTA up to? _B. M._ Sitting tight. _A. M._ And what's VILLA doing? _B. M._ Oh, he's been capturing Tampico a good deal lately. _C. M._ Isn't a fellow called ZAPATA chipping in somewhere? _B. M._ Yes, he's having a go too. (_A pause._) _A. M._ I say, you men, I've got an idea. _B. M._ Out with it, then. _C. M._ Yes, let's have it.