Aunt Martha dying. All well. Boss absent Thursday, so can explain to him afterwards. HOLCOMBE. VI. _Philip Renwick to Charles Holcombe_ (_wire._) Good boy. Funeral 11.30. Train Paddington 10.5. Lunch 1.30. Draw 6.30. PHILIP. VII. _Charles Holcombe to Philip Renwick._ Room 83, P.Q.R. Offices, _14th August._ MY DEAR PHIL,--I regret that I was forced to leave somewhat hurriedly after the game last night. I have nothing to add to what I told you at lunch as to the identity of the Paddlewick Spofforth with my chief, of whose sporting talent I was in ignorance. But if you should hear of a good berth going anywhere I should be extraordinarily grateful. Yours ever, CHARLIE HOLCOMBE. P.S.--It was doubly unfortunate (in a way) that I should have scored a six and three fours in one over from his bowling. * * * * * OLD STYLE AND NEW. I.--OLD STYLE. _He._ Has anyone seen the paper? _She._ I haven't. _He._ Didn't it come this morning? _She._ Very likely not. The boy often forgets it. You're the only person who ever looks at it. _He._ Well, I suppose I must wait till I get to the Club; but I dare say there isn't anything that matters in it. _Or_ _She._ Have you done with that paper, my dear? _He._ Absolutely; there's nothing in it. There never is. I can't think why we waste money in taking it. _She._ Then perhaps I may have it for a pattern? _He._ Why, certainly. I've no use for it. II.--NEW STYLE. _The whole family_ (all together). {Has the paper come yet? {What's the news? {Where's the paper? {What about Liége? {I say, where's the paper? {Isn't the paper here yet? {What's the matter with the people? _Or_ _The whole family_ (all together again). {I say, father, you might read quicker. {Can't you tear it in half? {Do tell us the news. {Do read it out loud. {What about Liége? Quick! {Oh dear, why don't we have ten copies of it? * * * * * "The 'Daily Telegraph' Algeciras correspondent, wiring yesterday, says news from Gibraltar reports a naval fight off the Canaries. One of the latter was sunk and the other captured and brought to Gibraltar." _Liverpool Evening Express._ Our own canary protests indignantly at this treatment of its allies. * * * * * In order to be in the very admirable fashion the L.C.C. has decided, we understand, to change the name of Jermyn Street to Jellicoe Lane. * * * * * Illustration: THE LOCAL TOUCH. _East Anglian._ "TELL YOW WHAT THAT IS, SIR: THAT THERE KAISER 'E 'ONT NEVER BE SATISFIED UNTIL 'E'S RUINED MUDBOROUGH." * * * * * Illustration: A BRAVE MAN. "LARGE LAGER, WAITER." * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)