Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, August 26th, 1914Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, August 26th, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Has that rosy, well-groomed body of yours ever sought repose on the
tessellated floor of a public hall? Has it ever washed itself in an
enamel mug? Has it ever set out on a round of visits with luggage
limited to 35 lbs., inclusive of its bed? No, nor had mine before; and
yet it doesn't seem to suffer much harm from the experience. What is
more, we are beginning to find scope for little luxuries even in this
narrow compass; there are mess tins, for instance, of the larger sort in
which one may, with a little ingenuity, have a complete bath.
When I set off last Tuesday week, with my chest out and my eyes right, I
only got as far as the Infants School round the corner, where my company
was foregathered. Here we spent our time, the hundred odd of us, getting
together the necessaries of life: the most formidable of these was
undoubtedly the housewife. I confess to a faint heart when I think of
myself darning my socks in off moments between battles.
From the Infants School we went to the Town Hall to join the Battalion,
and the thousand of us marched to our war station, some thirty miles
away. I hope I looked like a soldier as I stepped out, but I felt more
like a general stores with all my stock hanging in my shop window. Next
time I do this sort of thing I'm going to have a row of pegs on my back
and an extra storey in my head-gear for oddments. There is no denying
that the whole arrangement is an efficient one, the only failure being
the cellar equipment. It seems to me that the War Office ought to have
discovered some shady nook about the human body where one's drinking
water could be kept cool. Also I think they have wasted space by not
utilizing the inside of one's field-glasses for the carriage of
something or other. A combination sword and razor would also be an
economy.
We increased in numbers as we progressed. At our war-station we joined
the Brigade, making us four thousand in all, and from there we joined
the Division, becoming about sixteen thousand. If we go on at this
pace, we shall be getting into the millions soon, and then I think
somebody's meals _must_ be overlooked. There's bound to be some limit to
the capacity of these organizing people, although it certainly hasn't
appeared yet. They moved our Brigade two hundred miles by train with
less shouting and fuss than is usual with the single British family
mobilising for its seaside resort. Their system of train-catching
however is worth mentioning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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