(_"And there you are," said the gods in Olympus._ _"But even now----" began the very young god doubtfully._ _"Silly, isn't Felicia the ally of Essenland; isn't Marksland the ally of Borovia; isn't England the ally of the ally of the ally of the Country which holds the balance of power between Marksland and Felicia?"_ _"But if any of them thought the whole thing stupid or unjust or----"_ _"Their prestige," said the gods gravely, trying not to laugh._ _"Oh, I see," said the very young god._) * * * * * And when a year later the hundred-thousandth English mother woke up to read that her boy had been shot, I am afraid she shed foolish tears and thought that the world had come to an end. Poor short-sighted creature! She didn't realise that Porkins, who had marched round in ninety-six the day before, was now thoroughly braced up. (_"What babies they all are," said the very young god._) A. A. M. * * * * * An Invidious Distinction. "An Opening offers for a GENTLEMAN or Public School man...." _Advt. in "The Times."_ * * * * * "At moderate expenditure he has increased the stock-carrying capacity of his holding many times over, and can now fatten both cattle and sheep, where formerly either had only a bear subsistence."--_Times._ To the question, "What do bears subsist on?" we believe the answer to be, "Honey and American trappers." * * * * * Where to wear your Hat. "The Misses Buckley (Llandaff) were dressed--the one in a cerise coat and skirt, relieved at the waist with a black patent band and hat to correspond...."--_South Wales Daily News._ * * * * * Illustration: _Police Sergeant (having swallowed with gurgling sounds and smacking of lips a pint of beer given him by publican at his back door after hours) to intruding Constable._ "WHAT HAVE _YOU_ COME ROUND HERE FOR?" _Police Constable._ "I HEARD AN UNUSUAL SOUND, SIR." * * * * * THE DOUBLE CURE. "The hair," said the assistant, "is very thick." "If you refer to mine," I replied, "it is frightfully thick." He looked at it reflectively. "It is very thick," he said; "very thick," and he jabbed the comb into it. "On the other hand," I pointed out, "my skull is very thin." "Yes, Sir." "And the comb is very sharp." He apologized, pulled the comb out, and jabbed it back not quite so severely. "Very sharp," } }we murmured together. "Very thick," } "I will thin it out," he suggested. "As long as you get it out painlessly, I don't mind," I said, and I lay back and studied the bottles. "It's a curious thing," I observed, "but mine is the only case for which you hairdressers fail to provide." "I don't quite follow, Sir."