So I, too, non-combatant, as _Anno-Domini_ forces me to be, know something of war--a very little, it is true, but enough to make a difference when I read the letters from the trenches or meet a Belgian village refugee. * * * * * Illustration: _Pompous Lady._ "I SHALL DESCEND AT KNIGHTSBRIDGE." _Tommy_ (_aside_). "TAKES 'ERSELF FOR A BLOOMIN' ZEPPELIN!" * * * * * "General Joffre then engaged in a short conversation with several journalists, and when they referred to the military medal which M. Poincaré pinned on his chest, he said: '3/8 All this counts for nothing.'" _Manchester Guardian._ But on the other 5/8 we offer our respectful congratulations. * * * * * THE PROPHETS. I have a friend, a gloomy soul, Who daily wails about the war, Taking the line that, on the whole, Our luck is rotten at the core, And into each success Reads some disaster, rather more than less. Another friend I have, whose heart Beats with "abashless" confidence, Who sees the KAISER in the cart And hung in chains "a fortnight hence"; He saw this months ago, And some day hopes to say, "I told you so." When Heraclitus brings a cloud, Democritus provides the sun; Or should the Hopeful crow too loud, I listen to the Mournful One; And thus, between the two, I find a fairly rational point of view. * * * * * Faces We have no Use For. "Once or twice he sighed a little, although he had an uninterrupted view of a profile as regular as a canoe."--_New Magazine._ * * * * * AT THE PLAY. "THE MAN WHO STAYED AT HOME." No, he was not a shirker, as you thought. Nor was he engaged in making munitions of war, or khaki, or woollens, or military boots, or in exporting cocoa to the enemy _viâ_ neutral Holland--that roaring monopoly of the Pacificist. His business was to spy at spies--a task that called for as much coolness and courage as any job at the Front. And so when the officious flapper presented him with a white feather he had no use for it except as a pipe-cleaner.