Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 16, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 16, 1914Various
History
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 16, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Sir MELVILLE MACNAGHTEN hopes, in his Introduction to _Days of my Years_
(Arnold), that his reminiscences "may be found of some interest to a
patient reader"; and, when one considers that _Sir Melville_ spent
twenty-four years at Scotland Yard, many of them as chief of the
Criminal Investigation Department, he can hardly be accused of undue
optimism. Speaking as one of his readers, I found no difficulty at all
in being patient. I have always had a weakness for official detectives,
and have resented the term "Scotland Yard bungler" almost as if it were
a personal affront; and now I feel that my resentment is justified.
Scotland Yard does not bungle; and the advice I shall give for the
future to any eager-eyed, enthusiastic young murderer burning to embark
on his professional career is, don't practise in London. I would not
lightly steal a penny toy in the Metropolitan area. There are two
hundred and seventy-nine pages in this story of crime, as seen by the
man at the very centre of things, and nearly every one of them is packed
with matter of absorbing interest. Consider the titles of the chapters:
"Bombs and their Makers"; "Motiveless Murders"; "Half-a-day with the
Blood-hounds." This, I submit, is the stuff; this, I contend, is the
sort of thing you were looking for. There is something so human and
simple in Sir MELVILLE'S method of narration that it is with an effort
that one realises what an important person he really was, and what
extraordinary ability he must have had to win and hold his high
position. Even when he disparages blood-hounds I reluctantly submit to
his superior knowledge and abandon one of my most cherished illusions. I
hate to do it, but if he says that a blood-hound is no more use in
tracking criminals than a Shetland pony would be, I must try to believe
him.
* * * * *
Illustration: THE COMPLETE SALESMAN.
_Lady_ (_rather difficult to please_). "I LIKE THIS ONE, BUT--I SEE IT'S
PRINTED IN GERMANY."
_Salesman._ "WELL, IF YOU LIKE IT, MADAM, I WOULDN'T TAKE TOO MUCH
NOTICE OF THAT STATEMENT. IT'S PROBABLY ONLY ANOTHER GERMAN LIE!"
* * * * *
Revenge.
"After Herr Von Holman Bethwig's wild speech in the German Reichstag
the Government might change their minds."
_Cork Constitution._
It isn't much one can do to the GERMAN CHANCELLOR just now, but these
misprints of his name always annoy him, and every little helps.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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