I think I am justified in advancing the theory that there are no flies on dear Mabel. * * * * * OFF THE FALKLANDS, DECEMBER 8TH. [_To an old nautical air, with Mr. Punch's loud congratulations to Vice-Admiral Sir DOVETON STURDEE and his brave sailors_.] Hardened steel are our ships; Gallant tars are our men; We never are wordy (STURDEE, boys, STURDEE!), But quietly conquer again and again. * * * * * FOR THE CHILDREN. The Hon. Treasurer of the Hospital for Sick Children, Great Ormond Street (where many Belgian children are being cared for) desires to express his sincere thanks to _Mr. Punch's_ readers for their generous response to the appeal for help which was recently made in these pages. * * * * * Illustration: THE SINEWS OF WAR. PRIVATE ATKINS. "FOR WHAT WE HAVE RECEIVED--AND ARE GOING TO RECEIVE--HERE'S TO THE A.S.C." * * * * * Illustration: _Child_ (_much impressed by martial emblems opposite_). "MOTHER, IS THAT A SOLDIER?" _Mother._ "NO, DARLING." _Child_. "WHY NOT?" * * * * * UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER. No. X. (_From Mrs. JAMES PROSSER, 25, Paradise Road, Brixton_.) KAISER,--Jim's gone. I don't know if you'll like to hear it, him being a good fighter. I'd warrant him to take the shine out of any two Germans I ever met. They're big men, the Germans, but they mostly run to fat after their _premmer jewness_, as the Belgian lady over the way said last week when we was a-talking about 'em. I don't know what she meant, but she didn't look as if it was anything in the way of a compliment. That's why I've wrote it down here. Anyhow, Jim's gone. I saw him off with a lot of others, and they was all singing and shouting as loud as their lungs would let 'em--not drink, mind you, so don't you run away with that notion, but just high spirits and health and happiness. First it was "Tipperary," and that made me feel so mournful I had to give Jim a good old hug, and the little un pulling at my dress all the time and calling out, "Let me have a go at him, Mother," and "Don't give 'em all to Mother, Dad; keep half-a-dozen for me," just as sensible as a Christian, which is more than you can say of some. His name's Henery, the full name, not Henry, and we had him christened so, to make sure. He's going on for five years now, and he's got a leg and a chest on him to suit twice his years. I'm not saying that because I'm his mother, but because it's the truth. After they'd sung "Tipperary" they sang a lot of other songs. There was one in particklar that I liked, it had such a go with it. Jim told me it was made up by one of their own men, music and all. I misremember most of it, but there was two lines stuck in my head:-- General FRENCH is a regular blazer, He's going to dust the German KAISER.