For by Barbara's law, which we all obey, She claims each year, as the birthday-due That her loyal subjects must cheerfully pay, A new Teddy-bear for the toy-box Zoo. Some of them growl and some of them squeak, And one can play on a rub-a-dub drum, But till Barbara's birthday last Wednesday week Not one of the Teddy-bears was dumb. The latest addition to Barbara's bears Was a splendid fellow when well displayed In one of the smallest of nursery chairs, And his label declared he was "English made." Barbara called him her "bestest bear," But he tumbled soon from this place of pride; For she squeezed him here and she pounded him there, And "Daddy, he doesn't growl," she cried. Barbara shook him and flung him down; She turned her back and refused to play; And to every argument said with a frown, "He's my worstest bear; he can go away." We took him back, and we asked instead For "A bear like this, that can growl, you see;" But the shopman smiled and he darkly said, "All growls are made, Sir, in Germany."[1] Footnote 1: No doubt this defect in the British industry has by now been made good. * * * * * THE NEW REPORTING. TONBURY _V._ HAILEYBRIDGE. (_A Rugby Match reported after the style of the German General Staff. The passages in brackets are the work of a neutral correspondent._) Our brave Tonburians kicked off against the wind and immediately assumed a strong offensive along the whole line, forcing the enemy to evacuate his positions. When we reached their Twenty-five it became clear, after a furious struggle, that a decision was inevitably about to be postponed on account of the unexpected strength of their defence. (One try to Haileybridge which was converted.) After some fierce scrummaging in mid-field, in which we had all the best of it, it was found necessary, owing to strategic reasons, for our forces to occupy entirely new positions some thirty yards nearer to our own touchline. Thereafter there was nothing whatever to report. (Try to Haileybridge.) When the game was resumed it soon became evident that the situation was developing according to our expectations. (A dropped goal to Haileybridge.) Fighting continued, but there was no new development to report. (Two tries.) At half-time the head-master heartily congratulated the Tonbury Fifteen upon the magnificent victories they were gaining against superior forces, and assured them that it would soon be over, and they would all be back in time for tea. He then conferred their caps upon the whole Fifteen and an extra tassel upon the Captain. It is understood that the school-house will be decorated with bunting.