"Here, and I hope you'll have me; take me for what I'm worth-- A chap that's a bit of a waster, come from the ends of the earth To fight with the best that's in him for the dear old land of his birth!" * * * * * [Illustration: _Lady in black._ "Our Jim's killed seven Germans--and he'd never killed _ANYONE_ before he went to France!"] * * * * * THE PEACE-MAKER. The Anonymous War is not to be followed by an Anonymous Peace. I have Twyerley's own authority for this statement. I may go farther and make public the interesting fact that Twyerley himself has the matter in hand, and readers of _The Daily Booster_ will at an early date receive precise instructions how and where to secure Part I. of The History of the Peace before it is out of print. It is well known that all publications issuing from that Napoleonic brain are out of print within an hour or two of their appearance, but Twyerley takes precautions to safeguard readers of _The Booster_ against any such catastrophic disappointment. In approaching the Peace problem at this stage Twyerley is displaying his customary foresight. The military authorities frustrated Twyerley's public-spirited attempt to let the readers of _The Booster_ into the secret of General JOFFRE'S strategy--ruthlessly suppressing his daily column on The Position at the Front. He has resolved that the diplomatists shall not repeat the offence; he will be beforehand with them. If Twyerley had been listened to in times of peace there would have been no war; the fact is undeniable. Since war has come, however, the danger of a patched-up peace must be avoided at all costs. In order that there shall be no mistake Twyerley has prepared a map of Europe-as-it-must-be-and-shall-be or Twyerley and his myriad readers will know the reason why. (The map is presented gratis with Part I. of the History and may also be had, varnished and mounted on rollers, for clubs and military academies.) Twyerley at work upon the map is a thrilling spectacle. With his remorseless scissors he hovers over Germany and Austria in a way that would make the two KAISERS blench. Snip! away goes Alsace-Lorraine and a slice of the Palatinate; another snip! and Galicia flutters into the arms of Russia. The History is to be completed in twenty-four parts, if the Allies' plenipotentiaries possess the capabilities with which Twyerley credits them; but he has prudently provided for extensions in case of need. Anyway, whether the Treaty of Peace be signed in twelve months or twelve years, the final part of the History will go to press on the morrow.