Then the sound of her voice from December to June And from June to December is always a tune; All the elves when they hear it stop short in their play For Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea. When she sits on her chair like a queen on her throne She has beautiful manners entirely her own; But you'd better take care what you venture to say To Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea. P.S.--Since I managed to write the above I've been round to her house and I've offered my love; And she laughed and made jokes, but she didn't say nay, My Amanda Volanda McKittrick O'Dea. R. C. L. * * * * * "At Easter this year the ladies gave their first public performance by ringing a peal at a local wedding. The ladies now ring regularly every week. Some idea of the work may be gathered from the fact that the tenor bell weighs 11 cwt., and yet, through all the training, not even a stay has been broken."--_Church Monthly._ Our feminine readers would like to know the name of the bellringers' _corsetiere_. * * * * * From a letter to _The Daily Mail_:-- "One of our greatest poets was an apothecary's assistant, but his 'Ode to a Skylark' is eternal." Hail to thee, blithe SHELLEY! KEATS thou never wert. * * * * * From a letter to _The Market Mail_:-- "I enclose my card and remains.--Yours truly, VICTIM." We advise our contemporary to return the body. * * * * * THE INQUISITION. LETTER I. _Julius Pitherby, Esq., to myself._ DEAR SIR,--Henry Anderson, who is an applicant for my temporarily vacant situation as working gardener, assistant hedger and ditcher and superintending odd man (single-handed), has referred me to you as to his character and qualifications, stating that he was in your employment--I gather some nine years ago--for a time. You will therefore, I trust, forgive me if I take the liberty of asking you to be good enough to answer the following questions concerning him and his wife. He calls himself twenty-five, married, with no family. (1) _Was_ he in your employment? (2) When? (3) Is he twenty-five? (4) Is he married? (5) Has he no family? (6) Is he _strictly_ sober? (These words are to be taken quite literally.) (7) His wife ditto? (8) Is he decent and morally respectable, careful in his habits and guarded in his language? (9) His wife ditto? (10) Is he honest and reliable? (11) His wife ditto, and _not one to answer back_? (12) Are they both used to the country, contented in their sphere, interested in rural surroundings, fond of children, fond of animals, fond of fruit? (13) Is he strong and healthy, neither shortsighted nor deaf? (I have suffered much from both.) (14) His wife ditto, _and always tidy_? (15) Does he stammer? (I have been greatly inconvenienced by this.) (16) His wife ditto?