"No," she said, "they take as long to pay; about as exorbitant as most of the others." "Have you observed anything peculiar about his manners, then?" I said; "does he ever throw chops at you, for instance, when you pass the shop?" "No such luck," said Honor; "I'm a good catch." "Perhaps they give you tea," I said, "when you make an afternoon call on the sirloins?" "Indeed they don't," said Honor, "not even when I go to pay something off the book." "Then perhaps you have cosy little auction bridge parties in the room behind the cashier's window? No? Butchers are behind the times." "There ought," said Honor, "to be a good joke to be made out of that--a newspaper joke; but I can't quite see how to make it just yet." "That's something to the good," I said. "However, to our muttons." "Rotten," said Honor. "What of his entourage?" I said, ignoring her comment; "his steak-bearer and the like?" "Nothing unusual; just _epris_ with Emily." "Then where, oh where," I said, "is this difference that Williamson brags about?" "I don't know," Honor said helplessly. "I shall find out," I said, "even if I have to do the housekeeping myself for a bit." "You can take it on," she said, "when you like." * * * * * "Aha!" I said triumphantly, as I burst into the room this evening. "I've solved the Williamson problem. He was standing at his door as I passed just now, in all the regalia of his dread office." "And you went up to him and said, 'Well, what about it?' and pointed to the notice, I suppose." "Not at all," I said; "I merely looked at him and the scales fell from my eyes. He butches in spats." * * * * * "In the open Golf Championship Treen won with 78."--_Monthly Daily Chronicle._ Next year it will be the saintly ANDREW'S turn again. * * * * * "With lightning-like repetition of his strides (his quick action is the essence of his speed), Applegarth came flying down the home straight."--_Yorkshire Post._ Seeing that we were looking to APPLEGARTH to uphold British prestige at the next Olympic games, we regret extremely that the secret of his speed should have been given away to our rivals. * * * * * [Illustration: _Counsel._ "PRISONER IS THE MAN YOU SAW COMMIT THE THEFT?" _Witness (a bookmaker)._ "YES, SIR." _Counsel._ "YOU SWEAR ON YOUR OATH THAT PRISONER IS THE MAN?" _Witness._ "YES, SIR." _Sporting Judge._ "ARE YOU PREPARED TO GIVE ME FIVE TO TWO ON THE PRISONER BEING THE MAN?" _Witness._ "AH, I'M SORRY, ME LORD, BUT I'M TAKING A HOLIDAY TO-DAY. NOTHING DOING."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)