"Ladies and gentlemen," said I, "I have a proposal to lay before the meeting with a view to adjusting the acute crisis. Let me remind you of the facts:--The gentleman on my right," and I indicated Albert, whose attention wandered a little, "was recently possessed of a tooth, two parents, and a godfather of the name of Carr. The tooth, as teeth will, had to be removed; the parents, as parents may, advanced a shilling upon it; and the godfather, as godfathers needn't, telegraphed to say he was coming forthwith to the _locus in quo_. Things were so when Mr. (I didn't catch your name, Sir," and I turned to the telegraph boy) "threatened to liquidate us unless his debt was satisfied. Business is, as he very properly remarked, business. "Now for my suggestion: Albert," and I turned to him again, "will have, the telegram, which, being from _his_ godfather, is rightly his. He will, however, take it subject to encumbrances, of which, I understand, he has already discharged all but threepence. Happily his parents are willing to withdraw their first charge on his personal assets, and I have much satisfaction, Sir"--I bowed to the telegraph boy--"in presenting you with the goods, which were as recently as yesterday valued at no less than a shilling, and in asking you to keep the balance as a mark of our unshaken affection and esteem." And I handed him Albert's tooth. * * * * * "Accused, who gave the name of Janet Arthur, quoted Scott's 'Wha Hae' and other works."--_Lincolnshire Echo._ Such as the Wha-Haeverley Novels. * * * * * [Illustration: THE WORLD'S WORKERS. _Little Girl._ "PLEASE, MRS. MURPHY. MUVVER SAYS, IF IT'S FINE, TO-MORRER, WILL YOU GO BEGGIN' WITH 'ER?"] * * * * * THE "THORNS OF PRAISE." "HIS PURPLEST SIN." By VERNON BLATHERS (Jack Short, 6/-). _The Weekly Scotsman._ "... vivacious narrative ..." _The Strathpeffer Courant._ "Replete with up-to-date sentiment ... knowledge of the _beau monde_ ... racy, but never transcending the bounds of decorum." _The Buttevant Despatch._ "Passages which the author of 'The Rosary' might be proud to have written ... high ideals ... love interest well sustained ... careful punctuation." _The Nether Wallop News._ "Mr. Blathers is a benefactor ... reminds us of T. P. O'CONNOR ... luscious word-painting ... well-chosen epithets." _The Machrihamish Mirror._ "Stylish writing ... Mr. Blathers is evidently a _persona grata_ in the most _recherche_ circles." _The Chowbent Eagle._ "Edifying, yet entertaining ... faithful portraiture, but ... not in the least like ZOLA ... undoubtedly readable." _The Criccieth Sentinel._ "... inside knowledge of Mayfair ... redolent of humanity at its best ... fluid and flexible style ... suitable for a country congregation." _The Kilmarnock News._ "... cannot remember any book which ... better than this is." _The Pilworth Post._ "... redundant with wit ..."