Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 22, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 22, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Where now the expectant taxis prowl,
And growlers, still surviving, growl,
And agonised pedestrians howl,
Seeing the traffic skid,
There lions roamed the swampy glade,
There the superb okapi brayed,
And many a mighty mammoth made
Whatever noise it did.
It pleases me to pause and think
That where to-day flows printing-ink
All sorts of beasts came down to drink
Clear waters from a spring.
I like to reconstruct the scene;
I feel existence must have been,
Before the rotary machine,
A more delightful thing.
I like to think how, westward bound,
Tigers pursued their prey and found
The Strand a happy hunting ground,
Seeking tit-bits by night.
Reader, will you come there with me
When London lies asleep? Maybe
Their phantoms still prowl stealthily
Down by the Aldwych site.
* * * * *
SOCIETY NOTES.
Lady Diana Dingo was in the Park yesterday, walking with Lancelot, her
new ant-eater, and the latter, who has happily recovered from his severe
attack of measles, is now quite tame, and was wearing bronzed toe-nails
and a large blue ribbon under the left ear.
The Countess of Torquay and her sister, Mrs. Pygmalion Popinjay, were at
the Earl's Court Exhibition on Wednesday. The Countess's crested toucan,
Willy, was much admired.
The Ladies' Park Pet race at Ranelham next Friday is expected to prove
an exciting event, especially as Stella, Lady Killaloo, has entered her
large crocodile, Horace--called after her late husband--who is known to
prove rather fractious at times.
Mrs. Halliday Hare is in deep mourning for her bandicoot, Maud Eliza,
who was unfortunately set upon and eaten last week by the Hon. Mrs.
Joram's young jaguar during an afternoon call at the house of a mutual
friend of their mistresses. Mrs. Hare is leaving town at once, and her
house will be closed until late in the autumn.
The iguana worn by Miss Bay Buskin in the second Act of _The Belle of
Bow Street_ is a delightful little creature, and accompanies his
mistress everywhere. While on the subject of the theatre, we are glad to
learn that the cages now being erected behind the stage at Galy's
Theatre will soon be ready, when there should be no further cause for
complaint about the rapacity of some of the larger carnivora owned by
certain ladies of the chorus.
The recent fashion of having one's pet emu coloured to match one's frock
is dying out, and armadilloes with gilded trotters are becoming the
vogue.
* * * * *
COMPULSION.
"Very well," said the lady of the house, "don't let's do it. Nobody can
force us to go to the seaside if we don't want to."
"It's too late," I said, "to begin to agree with me now."
"It's never too late to realise how reasonable you are."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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