In short, I have forgotten nothing, except spare studs, and I think it is quite likely that I shall remember them too in course of time. I have even gone so far as to fix a day for a dress rehearsal. But first I shall invite my friends, as is the way with brides-elect, to a private view of my trousseau, when they shall see all of it spread upon the coverlet of my bed, over the backs of my chairs, or hanging in serried ranks in my wardrobe. And now nothing more remains to be done but to raise the necessary funds, and with this object in view I have instructed my broker to draw my money out of the Savings Bank. I am expecting a postal-order almost any moment. * * * * * Illustration: _Yokel._ "'OW FAST CAN SHE TRAVEL, MASTER?" _Owner._ "FIFTY MILES AN HOUR, MY MAN--EVEN SIXTY IF I CARE TO PUSH HER." _Yokel._ "AN' 'OW MANY IF YE BOTH SHOVE?" * * * * * "'Anna virumque cano' was the burden of the charge the Chief Secretary had to meet, and it sorely embarrassed the dear gentleman."--_Liverpool Courier._ Who is "ANNA"? We hope Mr. BIRRELL is not mixed up in a scandal. * * * * * Illustration: AN IMPALPABLE FLAME. _Claude._ "WHAT ARE YOU WAITIN' HERE FOR, OLD THING?" _Cuthbert._ "TO GIVE THESE FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATES TO THAT STUNNING LITTLE GIRL IN 'THE DEATH KISS OF DEADMAN'S GULCH.'" * * * * * THE AWAKENING (_A Little Romance of the Restaurant-Car_). Is there a sight so soothing to the brain As England's outlines green and softly curved, Visions of wooded slope and fertile plain Seen by the traveller in a dining-train, No doubts to vex him and no talk to strain, His seat, his chance companion, both reserved? I think not. Yet the rather stoutish man Who never raised his head but chewed and chewed Annoyed me as I feasted. I began To deem him one who had no higher plan, No larger outlook in life's journeyings, than Resonant demolition of his food. I longed to point to him the hedges twined With starry blossoms, and the coats like silk Of oxen as they wandered unconfined; I longed to ask him if his heavier mind Preferred the cattle of more stedfast kind Stamped with advertisements of malted milk. The little red-brick hamlets, poised apart, And all the grandeur of the rolling leas, I longed to ask him if they brought no smart Of scarce-remembered boyhood to his heart. But I refrained; and he took cherry tart And after that two different kinds of cheese. And then we neared a little market town Half hidden in the dale, that seemed to cling Fondly about a church of old renown; And here the fat man started and looked down And filled his tumbler to the foaming crown And held it high as if to pledge the KING.