Highly commended.--A. should explain to his hostess that he has a peculiar hobby, to wit, collecting slices of bread-and-butter from the houses of the great. His collection of Royal Family slices is unrivalled. Might he have the pleasure and honour of adding to his collection this dainty specimen? He should then reverently fold the slice in two and place it in his breast-pocket. [Our only objection to this is that it seems a rather greasy thing to do.] Incorrect answers:--(1) A. should make a facetious remark, such as, "Hasn't this escaped from the bread pudding?" He should then playfully but firmly push the slice aside and trust to luck on the next. (2) A. must out of courtesy to his hostess accept thankfully whatever she places before him. Any other course of conduct would be an affront. It now however becomes his personal property and he can adopt whichever of the following courses is most convenient-- (a) Secrete it in a fancy flower-pot or in the gramophone. (b) If the dog is a silent eater hold it behind his back so that the dog may get it. NOTE.--If the dog refuses to touch it, say loudly, "I cannot understand how any animal can decline such delightful bread-and-butter." He can then openly dispose of it in the grate or the waste-paper-basket on the ground that the dog's nose has vitiated its freshness. * * * * * LOVE'S LABOUR WELL LOST. [_Lines inspired by a dark lady, who remarked_, à propos _of a recent disaster, that all fair girls were untrustworthy._] Phyllis hath a roving eye, Palest blue--a candid feature Which informs the passer-by Phyllis is a flighty creature; Golden locks and fair complexion Also point in that direction. I, who had arranged to be Joined to Phyllis by the vicar, Now that she has jilted me Scorn to seek relief in liquor. Or the tears that folk are shedding (Having missed a swagger wedding). He who stole my love away Cannot hope for long survival, And I pity him to-day As I did a former rival Who believed her single-hearted When my own flirtation started. * * * * * The Journalistic Touch. I. "The Imperial yacht with the Tsar and Imperial Family on board steamed through the British lines yesterday, afterwards lunching on the British flagship."--_Bombay Chronicle._ II. Of the Rose Walk at Purley:-- "Then the material loveliness becomes the diaphanous veil through which glint realities of which all phenomena are expressions."--_Croydon Advertiser & Surrey County Reporter._ III. "His memory and his noble face, and reverend crown of snow, will be a green spot, and indelibly written in our minds, whilst life lasts."--_Methodist Recorder._ * * * * *