Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 29, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 29, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The supper-room was so full that I quite expected to find that, since
I was so late, the harassed head-waiter had taken the liberty of
presuming my death and letting someone else have my table; but there
it was, empty and ready for me. I sank into a chair with a feeling
of relief and, having ordered something to eat, began to examine the
room. There was not a spare place; everyone was eating and talking and
unusual excitement was in the air. From my remote corner I could not
catch any words, but the odd thing was that at every table one at
least of the men, who were all in evening-dress, was waving his arms.
Now and then a man would stand up to do this better. It was as though
they were all deaf and dumb, or cinema actors.
The next day at lunch I had a similar experience. I patronized another
restaurant, which seemed to be equally popular, and again every man
was gesticulating in a style totally foreign to the staid apathetic
Londoner. What could it mean? What was the reason?
I asked the waiter. He laughed. "Ah," he said, "I have notice it too.
It is funny, is it not? Zey all show each other how CARPENTIER won on
ze foul."
* * * * *
AN ERROR IN ARCADY.
People who know us both have often expressed a doubt as to whether
Charles or myself is the more absent-minded and unobservant. I wish to
set the matter at rest once and for all.
We were discussing William's wedding, which had just taken place,
romantically enough, in the very heart of Herts--one of those quaint
little villages where no sound seems to disturb the silence of the
long summer day but the gentle bleating of horn to horn and the murmur
of innumerable tyres. Both of us had been there, and Charles came
round to talk to me about it a few evenings afterwards.
"I do hope the poor dear fellow will be happy," he said, lighting his
fifth match and pulling away vigorously at an ugly-looking briar.
"It really goes much better with tobacco in it," I said, passing him
my pouch. "Why on earth shouldn't William be happy? It seemed a very
pretty wedding. Did you notice how the rays of the sun coming through
the window lit up the best man's boots?"
"I daresay, I daresay," he replied. "As a matter of fact I couldn't
see the church part of it very well: I came late and was behind a
pillar at the back."
"Well, it all went beautifully," I told him. "Everybody stood up and
sat down in the wrong places as usual, and the friends of the bride
looked with extreme _hauteur_ at the friends of the bridegroom, and
_vice versâ_. I suppose you went to the reception afterwards. I never
saw you at all except for a moment on the platform going back. You
must have shaken hands with the happy pair and examined the presents?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account