Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 29, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 29, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Your knowledge of human nature must be singularly slight," replied
the other icily, "if you imagine that a man without sufficient courage
to be fitted by a tailor would be brave enough to wear ready-made
clothes."
"It seems to me, Sir," said Dean, coming to the rescue, "that your two
instances prove little, if anything. They may be mere coincidence."
The stranger leaned forward, frowned heavily and wagged his forefinger
at Dean, who wilted visibly.
"The Society for the Investigation of Natal Day Influences upon
Character," he said, "does not seek to build up a theory upon
isolated and arbitrarily selected examples. We deal with the subject
scientifically. To continue with this date, February 29th. After
several cases similar to those I have recounted had come to our
notice, we made out a list of two hundred and fifty men born on
this day. To each of them we sent a representative to ask for a
subscription to the Society. Though they had never heard of it before,
_every one of those two hundred and fifty was easily intimidated into
subscribing._
"Now let us consider another date--March 3rd. Several striking
instances had led us to suspect that a person born on March 3rd comes
into the world with an ineradicable passion for gambling. I will give
you just one of these. A gentleman one day imagined he was seriously
ill and called in a doctor. The latter laughed at his fears and
offered to bet him that he would live to be seventy. The temptation
was too great. The gambler closed with the offer, and on the eve of
his seventieth birthday drowned himself."
At this point Empson sniggered audibly. The speaker turned his head
and fixed his terrifying glance upon the delinquent. Poor Empson grew
very red, and endeavoured to cover his lapse by coughing noisily. The
other waited patiently till he had finished.
"Perhaps you wish to say something, Sir," he remarked coldly.
"N-no," said Empson. "Most interesting."
The President made a gesture which indicated that Empson was beneath
contempt and renewed his discourse.
"Continuing the same method of research," he said, "we compiled a list
of nearly four hundred persons born on March 3rd. To each of these we
sent particulars of a Derby Sweepstake. _Every one of them, gentlemen,
applied for a ticket by return of post._"
There was an impressive pause. The President looked round the carriage
defiantly as if challenging suspicion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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