Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 8, 1914Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 8, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"A subaltern riding at the rear of a column of soldiers trotted up to
the captain in front and challenged him to a game of billiards for
half-a-crown a side, the loser to pay for the table. Having lost, he
played another hundred, double or quits, and then rode back, the column
by this time having travelled twice its own length, and a distance equal
to the distance it would have travelled if it had been going in the
other direction. What was the captain's name?"
Perhaps I have not got it quite right, for I have had an eventful week
since then; or perhaps Herbert didn't get it quite right; or perhaps the
girl with the meringue in her hair didn't get it quite right; but
anyhow, that was the idea of it.
"And the answer," said Herbert, "ought to be 'four cows,' but I keep on
making it 'eight and tuppence.' Just have a shot at it, there's a good
fellow. I promised the girl, you know."
I sat down, worked it out hastily on the back of an envelope, and made
it a yard and a half.
"No," said Herbert; "I know it's 'four cows,' but I can't get it."
"Sorry," I said, "how stupid of me; I left out the table-money."
I did it hastily again and made it three minutes twenty-five seconds.
"It _is_ difficult, isn't it?" said Herbert. "I thought, as you used to
be mathematical and as I'd promised the girl----"
"Wait a moment," I said, still busy with my envelope. "I forgot the
subaltern. Ah, that's right. The answer is a hundred and twenty-five
men.... No, that's wrong--I never doubled the half-crown. Er--oh, look
here, Herbert, I'm rather busy this morning. I'll send it to you."
"Right," said Herbert. "I know I can depend on you, because you're
mathematical." And he opened the door for me.
I had meant to do a very important piece of work that day, but I
couldn't get my mind off Herbert's wretched problem. Happening to see
Carey at tea-time, I mentioned it to him.
"Ah," said Carey profoundly. "H'm. Have you tried it with an '_x_'?"
"Of course."
"Yes, it looks as though it wants a bit of an '_x_' somewhere. You stick
to it with an '_x_' and you ought to do it. Let '_x_' be the
subaltern--that's the way. I say, I didn't know you were interested in
problems."
"Well----"
"Because I've got rather a tricky chess problem here I can't do." He
produced his pocket chess-board. "White mates in four moves."
I looked at it carelessly. Black had only left himself with a Pawn and a
King, while White had seen to it that he had a Queen and a couple of
Knights about. Now, I know very little about chess, but I do understand
the theory of chess problems.
"Have you tried letting the Queen be taken by Black's pawn, then
sacrificing the Knights, and finally mating him with the King alone?"
"Yes," said Carey.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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