How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip. _9 to 10.30 A.M._--BATHING AND FISHING. _10.30 A.M. to 12 (noon)._--SHOOTING AND CYCLING. _12 to 1.30 P.M._--TENNIS AND BOTANY. _3 to 4.30 P.M._--CROQUET AND ARCHAEOLOGY. _4.30 to 6 P.M._--GOLF AND GEOLOGY. _6 to 7.30 P.M._--SKETCHING AND DONKEY-RIDING. * * * * * Illustration: RACE-COURSE OF THE NEAR FUTURE, SUFFRAGETTE-PROOF. * * * * * Illustration: SMITH, WHO ALWAYS WEARS THE NATIVE COSTUME WHEN FISHING IN THE HIGHLANDS (HIS GREAT-GRAND-AUNT'S STEP-FATHER HAVING BEEN A McGREGOR) FINDS THE MIDGES SOMEWHAT TROUBLESOME. A LITTLE INGENUITY HOWEVER OVERCOMES THE DIFFICULTY. * * * * * Illustration: THE "SPASMO" CANOELET. IT IS A RELUCTANT STARTER. WHEN IT _DOES_ START, IT STARTS. IT LAUGHS AT LOCKS. IT ENDS AS A HYDRO-AEROPLANE. * * * * * Illustration: THE EMANCIPATION OF THE EAST. THE GRAND VIZIER, A MASTER OF POLYGAMY, REGRETS THE VOGUE OF THE CINEMA AS AN EDUCATIVE FORCE. * * * * * Illustration: LUNCH "SCORES." * * * * * COMPLAINTS ARE HEARD FROM HOLIDAY-MAKERS ON THEIR RETURN THAT THE HOLIDAY HAS FAILED TO BENEFIT THEM. THIS IS DUE TO LACK OF PREPARATORY TRAINING AT HOME. Illustration: HARDEN THE FEET FOR BEACH-WALKING. Illustration: ACCUSTOM THE LUNGS TO MARINE AROMAS. Illustration: PREPARE TO RECEIVE THE BUFFETINGS OF NEPTUNE. Illustration: TOUGHEN THE INTERIOR FOR A LODGING-HOUSE DIET. * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY FILM. [Having had the good fortune to pick up for a mere song (or, to be more accurate, for a few notes) several thousand miles of discarded cinema films from a bankrupt company, _Mr. Punch_ is gumming the best bits together and presenting them during the holiday season on the piers of many of our fashionable watering-places, such as Bayswater, Hackney Marshes and Ponder's End. The films comprise the well-known "Baresark Basil, the Pride of the Ranch" (two miles long), "The Foiler Foiled" (one mile, three furlongs, two rods, poles or perches), "The Blood-stained Vest" (fragment--eighteen inches), "A Maniac's Revenge" (5,000 feet), "The Life of the Common Mosquito" (six legs), and so forth. An accomplished writer has been chosen to weave a connected story round the selected parts of the films, and his scenario of _Mr. Punch's_ great picture play, when finally gummed together, is given below. The illustrations depict a few representative incidents in the story--taken from the sketch-book of an artist who was present when the films were first being prepared.]