Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 8, 1914Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, July 8, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
GENERAL BOOTH AND
MRS. BRAMWELL BOOTH
LIONS PHOTOGRAPHED AT 5 YARDS'
DISTANCE.
* * *
Once upon a time Red Indians used to kidnap Whites. Last week, Mrs. W.
BOWMAN CUTTER, a wealthy widow of seventy, living at Boston,
Massachusetts, eloped with her 21-year-old Red-skin chauffeur.
* * *
A memorial to a prize-fighter who was beaten by TOM SAYERS was unveiled
at Nottingham last week. Should this idea of doing honour to defeated
British heroes spread to those of to-day our sculptors should have a
busy time.
* * *
A visitor to Scarborough nearly lost his motor-car in the sands at Filey
last week: it sank up to the bonnet and was washed by the sea before it
was hauled to safety by four horses. Neptune is said to have been not a
little annoyed at the car's escape, as he realises that his old chariot
drawn by sea-horses is now sadly _demode_.
* * *
A new organisation, called "The League of Wayfarers," has been formed.
Its members apparently consist of "child policemen," who undertake to
protect wild flowers. How it is going to be done we do not quite
understand. Presumably, small boys will hide behind, say, dandelions,
and emit a loud roar when anyone tries to pluck the tender plant.
* * * * *
Illustration: A MESSAGE FROM THE SEA.
_Romantic Tripper._ "TELL ME, HAVE YOU EVER PICKED UP ANY BOTTLES ON THE
BEACH?"
_Boatman._ "WERRY OFTEN, MISS!"
_Romantic Tripper._ "AND HAVE YOU FOUND ANYTHING IN THEM?"
_Boatman._ "NOT A BLESSED DROP, MISS!"
* * * * *
When _The Yorkshire Post_ and _The Hull Daily Mail_ differ, who shall
decide between them? _The Hull Daily Mail_ asserts positively that A.
PAPAZONGLON won the long jump at the Bridlington Grammar School sports
and that C. PAPAZONGLON was second in the 100 yards and High Jump. Its
contemporary, however, unhesitatingly awards these positions to C.
PAPAZONGLOU, C. PAPAZONGA and G. PAPAZAGLOU respectively. But it gives
the "Victor Ludorum" cup to a new competitor, C. PAPAZOUGLOU, and again
differs from _The Hull Daily Mail_, which knows for a fact that it was
won by C. PPAZONGLON. Whom shall we believe?
* * * * *
"ASQUITH DENIES MILITANT PLEA.
Receives Working Women but Won't Introduce Bill."--_New York Evening
Sun._
We are left with the uneasy impression that William is a snob.
* * * * *
"On a divan the motion for rejection was carried by 178 to
136."--_Daily Chronicle._
Our politicians are right to take it easy this hot weather.
* * * * *
A PATRIOT UNDER FIRE.
(_Observed during the recent heat wave._)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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