* * * * * FATHER WILHELM. "You are bold, Father WILHELM," the young man said; "Your moustache, too, is fiercer than mine; But I'm tempted to ask by the size of your head, Do you really suppose you're divine?" "In my youth," said his father, "you probably know That I held the most orthodox views; But since I have hypnotized HARNACK and CO. I simply believe what I choose." "You are bold," said the youth, "as I've mentioned before, Yet you frequently talk through your hat; For you told us the English were worthless in war; Pray what was the reason of that?" "In my earlier days," said his sire, "through and through I studied that decadent race, And in failing to prove that my forecast was true They have covered themselves with disgrace." "You are bold," said the youth, "and the Nietzschean creed Cries, 'Down with the humble and meek;' Yet the sack of Louvain made your bosom to bleed; Why were you so painfully weak?" "In my youth," said his father, "I studied the Arts With a zeal that no force could restrain; And the love of mankind which that study imparts Has made me unduly humane." "You _were_ bold," said the youth, "but it seems to be clear That you're losing your grit and your fire; And, if I may whisper the hint in your ear, Don't you think that you ought to retire?" "I've answered three questions," the KAISER replied, "That might baffle the wit of a ZANCIG; I'm tired of your talk and I'm sick of your 'side': Be off, or I'll send you to Danzig." * * * * * THE WAY OF THE TURK. The position of Turkey is muddled and murky, But the course she's resolved to pursue Is true to her mind, which we constantly find _A l'Enver(s) et contre tous._ * * * * * "The Hun and the Tartar stand together--_par mobile patrum_." _Newcastle Daily Journal._ We cannot speak with equal confidence of the head of the Tartars, but the KAISER certainly makes a very mobile parent. * * * * * Illustration: _Cavalry Instructor_ (_to nervous Recruit_). "NOW THEN; NONE O' THEM COSSACK STUNTS 'ERE." * * * * * THE WATCH DOGS. VII.