Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, November 11, 1914Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, November 11, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Amended and more stringent regulations concerning the lights of
London have been issued by Sir E. R. Henry, the Commissioner of
Police. A number of them are in the same terms as those which were
published in _The Globe_ nearly a month ago, but others make
important changes. For example, the third order, as originally
drafted, ran: 'The intensity of the inside lighting of shop fronts
must be reduced from 6 p.m. or earlier if the Commissioner of Police
on any occasion so directs', but it is now as follows:--
The intensity of the inside lighting of shop fronts must be reduced
_from 6 p.m. or earlier if the Commissioner of Police on any occasion so
directs_."--_Globe._
The italics ought to make it a lot darker.
* * * * *
Gifts of money for the purchase of blankets are being made in Germany
not less than here, and we understand that a large sum has been sent out
to South Africa addressed: "De Wet Blanket Fund."
* * * * *
Illustration: HIS MASTER'S VOICE.
THE KAISER (_to Turkey, reassuringly_). "LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME. ALL
YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS TO EXPLODE."
TURKEY. "YES, I QUITE SEE THAT. BUT WHERE SHALL _I_ BE WHEN IT'S ALL
OVER?"
* * * * *
Illustration: _Talkative Passenger._ "I SEE THAT THE YOUNG EARL OF
HARBORO' HAS JUST DONE A VERY PLUCKY ACT AT THE FRONT."
_Rabid Socialist_ (_indignantly_). "WELL, SO HE OUGHT."
* * * * *
THE MISUSED TALENT.
(_A mild apostrophe to the young man next door._)
Augustus! ever prone at eve to gurgle a
Melodious distych from the music-halls,
Piping in summer from beneath a pergola,
Piping to-day behind these party-walls,
Three months ago and more, when Mars had thrust us
In doubt and dread alarm and cannons' mist,
I found one solace, for I mused, "Augustus
Will probably enlist.
"I know not what his dreams of glory may be,
I know not if his heart is full of grit,
But I do know that he disturbs the baby,
And, judging by his lungs, he must be fit;
His is the frame, or else I've never seen one,
His are the fitting years to fight and roam,
He has no ties (except that pink and green one)
To tether him to home.
"When he returns he'll possibly be sager;
If not (for glory of his long campaign)
We shall be thrilled to hear the sergeant-major
Singing the good old songs he loved again;
Bellona, too, has something of the witch in her;
It may be he will learn more tact and grace
When that mild tenor has been turned by KITCHENER
Into a throaty bass."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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