Illustration: _Amateur Constable_ (_Policeman's son_). "I ARREST YER ON SUSPICION O' STEALIN' A RESERVOIR. ANY 'OLLERIN' 'LL BE TOOK DAHN AGIN YER." * * * * * THE PATRIOT. "At Monday's meeting, Mr. H. H. Gibbs, J. P., the Chairman, expressed the opinion that the town should not be so conspicuous at night, as in the event of a Zeppelin raid Bognor might be mistaken for Portsmouth."--_Southern Weekly News._ It would be small consolation to England, if Bognor Cinema Palace fell, that Portsmouth Dockyard had been saved. * * * * *