"Few people," says _The Witney Gazette_, "are familiar with the history and resources of Belgium." How true this is may be seen from our contemporary's next statement:--"A large section of its population consists of a race known as the Walloons, the ancient descendants of the Belgians." * * * "Father," asked the actor's little son, "why does the KAISER wear a helmet with an eagle on the top of it?" "To show that he's 'got the bird,'" replied the brilliant Thespian. * * * By the way, the statement that "The TSAR has left for the theatre of war" has caused the keenest satisfaction in histrionic circles, where it is hoped that this illustrious example will cause the fashionable world to revert to its habit of patronising the stage. * * * General VON STEIN, who was responsible for the German official _communiques_, has, we learn from the German Press, been superseded. Evidently he did not chronicle sufficient victories. The German public, when it asks for _Brod_, does not care to get a _Stein_. * * * An overheard conversation: "I see that both you and your wife have sent blankets to the soldiers." "Yes. She sent mine, so I sent hers." * * * A dear old lady who read about the theft of an Italian submarine last week writes to say that she hopes that the police are keeping an eye on our _Dreadnoughts_. * * * * * ADSIT OMEN! Take its "capital" from Prussia-- You reduce the thing to Russia! * * * * * "Perversely enough, whilst Ora's husband was a commonplace though intelligent attorney, Ora was married to a Montana mine-owner." _Books of To-day._ This was very perverse of Ora. She might at least have waited till her first husband had ceased to be an attorney. * * * * * _Gentlemen who are losing their employment owing to the War:_--1. The German Colonial Secretary. * * * * * "Identifying battles with rivers is very confusing to the reader who is not well acquainted with the geography of a little-known part of Europe. It misleads thousands when the Aisne is mentioned, and it is even more misleading when the river Victula comes into the reckoning." _Birmingham Daily Post._ This is quite true. * * * * * Illustration: STUDY OF A VETERAN WHO HAS SENT ALL HIS BLANKETS TO KITCHENER'S ARMY AND NEVER SLEPT BETTER IN HIS LIFE. * * * * * Rates for Zeppelins. "During the last few days," we learn, "a good many insurances have been effected at Lloyd's on properties in London against the risk of damage by Zeppelins." The premium accepted on banks appears to be about one shilling per cent. But why insure banks? For our own part we would very gladly take refuge in one of their strong rooms at the first sight of a hovering Zeppelin.