"Bless my soul," I said, "that sounds remarkably like the Worcester tea-set," and looking at the clock again I knew that Peter had made the "loud noise off" at the exact moment. "Good lad," I said to myself. "Great heavens!" said Alison. I was delighted. I had been more afraid of Alison's getting stage fright than of anything else, and there she was playing her part like a veteran actress. Things were going really splendidly. It was at this precise moment that the grandfather clock in the kitchen gave out the first stroke of five, and at the same moment Jessie entered bearing a tray, on which were the five drawing-room tea-cups which were intact, the single ditto with a piece out, two breakfast cups and two odd ones. So the one player, the kitchen clock, whose part had been overlooked, had spoilt the whole show by being nearly fifteen minutes fast; and the fact that Jessie tripped on the doormat as she came in, with fatal results to the rest of our tea-things, was a mere circumstance. Alison blames me for everything. The next pyjama conference is to be held at the Rectory. * * * * * From a well-known Firm's catalogue:-- "_Our roll of honour to date: 487 employees joined the colours._" The question, "Shall women fight?" has now been decided. * * * * * Illustration: The St. John Ambulance Association, which forms part of the Red Cross Organisation of Great Britain, derives its name and traditions from the Order of St. John of Jerusalem (Knights Hospitallers), founded at the time of the Crusades. It has at this moment many thousands of workers engaged in tending the wounded at the seat of war and in the hospitals of the Order. In peace time it does not appeal to the public for subscriptions, but under the stress of war it finds itself in urgent need of help, and is absolutely compelled to ask for funds. Gifts should be sent to the Chief Secretary, Colonel Sir Herbert C. Perrott, Bt., C.B., at St. John's Gate, Clerkenwell, E.C., and cheques should be crossed "London County and Westminster Bank, Lothbury," and made payable to the St. John Ambulance Association. In aid of its work, a Concert (at which Madame Patti will sing) is to be given at the Albert Hall on Saturday afternoon, October 24th. * * * * * Illustration: A UNITED FAMILY. _Irish would-be Recruit._ "BEG PARDON, CAPTAIN, BUT THE MAN IN THERE WON'T LET ME GO TO FIGHT BECAUSE OF ME EYE." _Captain._ "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE ARMY?" _Would-be Recruit._ "I HAVE, SORR." _Captain._ "WHAT REGIMENT?" _Would-be Recruit._ "ME BROTHER WAS IN THE LEINSTERS." * * * * * STICK TO IT, RIGHT WING! (_A few suggested official communiques, respectfully offered to the authorities in Paris._) MONDAY.