It has suddenly become more imperative than ever that the War should be finished quickly. A publishing firm has issued the first volume of a history of the war with an announcement that it will be completed in four volumes at a fixed price. If the war should last longer than a year the last volume threatens to achieve such a size that the publisher would either have to go back on his word or be ruined. * * * The L.C.C. has just produced a new, revised, up-to-date and fully detailed map of London, and the German War Office is furious to think that it has been put to the needless expense of compiling a similar document itself. * * * It has been pointed out that the War has had a most satisfactory effect on criminality. And even in civil actions witnesses would seem to be turning over a new leaf, and even insisting on giving evidence against themselves. For example, we learn from _The Northwood Gazette_ that a van driver, charged the other day with damaging a motor-car, said in cross-examination:--"I pulled up about fifteen years after the accident happened." * * * In spite of the War our Law Courts pursue the even tenour of their way, and the Divisional Court has just been asked to decide the important question, Is ice-cream meat? Personally we should say that, where it is made from unfiltered water, the answer is in the affirmative. * * * "DE WET OF THE SEA." _Daily Mail._ We should have thought this well-known characteristic was hardly worth mentioning. * * * "DISGUISED SPIES" was the title of a paragraph in a contemporary last week. These cases must surely be exceptional. We always think of spies as wearing a recognised uniform, or at least a label to indicate their profession. * * * "CORK STEAMER SUNK BY MINE."--_Evening News._ This war is shattering many of our illusions. * * * Mr. FRED EMNEY, who is now appearing at the Coliseum, would like it to be known that he is not an Alien Emney. * * * * * Illustration: "IT'S ALL VERY WELL, JARGE, FOR YOU T' SAY WHY DON'T KITCHENER AN' FRENCH DO THIS AN' THAT? BUT WHAT I SAY IS, IT DON'T DO FOR YOU AN' ME T' SAY ANYTHINK WHAT MIGHT EMBARRASS EITHER OF 'EM." * * * * * THE NEW CENSORSHIP. "The country in which so much interest centres may be briefly described. From near ---- to ---- and onwards in a south-easterly direction there is a low range of chalky hills, closely resembling our South Downs. There is no harm in saying definitely that not a German is on this line."--_Daily Telegraph._ No apparent harm, but you can't be too careful. If the news gets round to the Germans that they are not there, they might at once set about to correct this defect. * * * * * THE TANDEM. "Mr. F. Marsham-Townshend's Polygamist, 3, 6-2, E. Crickmere 0 Mr. F. Marsham-Townshend's Polygamist, 3, 6-2, O. Grant 0"