_On the whole it must be agreed that Herbert was well rid of this Ermyntrude person. There was nothing particular against her except that she was a woman, but surely to goodness that is enough. When Eve arrived the trouble began; when telephones were invented it came to a head. Think what literature might have achieved had it not always been obsessed by its desire to find some brief definition good enough for woman! I think it is our chief difficulty in appreciating the supposed greatness of VERGIL that he couldn't do any better than "Varium et mutabile semper." If VERGIL had been a butcher or a grocer or any other unhappy shopkeeper liable to the daily insult of receiving household orders, he must have expressed it more thoroughly. For my own part, sitting here in my study and thinking the matter over to myself, I cannot do better than adopt the phraseology of the telephone instructions: "Intermittent Buzz."_ _And so Herbert didn't marry, but lived happily ever afterwards. After all, Ermyntrude was essentially a woman; they all are, confound them, but some of us are not so lucky as was Herbert in finding out in time._ And that, of course, was the chapter that Cecily suddenly chose to read ... nor was it less than an hour before peace was declared again. The terms, however, were not unfavourable. I was partially forgiven, and, what was better still, Cecily wholly departed. I then wrote a revised version of _CHAPTER LIX._ _Ermyntrude was still where we left her, but was beginning to collect her scattered thoughts when Herbert re-entered. He closed the door behind him, neither softly nor loudly, but just ordinarily, and without more ado took Ermyntrude in his arms._ _"We will never again think of all that came between us," he murmured._ _She smiled up at him._ _"It shall be as nothing," he added._ _"It shall," said she._ "It shall indeed," say I. * * * * * MOON-PENNIES. (_Children in the Midlands give this name to the disc shaped fruit of Honesty._) My garden is a beggar's pitch That Heaven throws its coins upon; And in the Summer I am rich, And in the Winter all is gone; Yet as the long days hurry by I keep my pitch, content and free, Where in a sweet profusion lie Fair Marigolds and Honesty; And oft I turn and count for fun My largess from the night and noon-- The golden tokens of the sun, The silver pennies of the moon! * * * * * Illustration: "I'M SORRY TO 'AVE TO SAY, MUM, 'E'S BIN A VERY BAD DOG WHILST YOU WAS HOUT. 'E'S BIN AN' EAT UP 'IS PATRIOTIC RIBBON." * * * * * CANNON FODDER. (_Thus the War Party designates the rank and file of the German army._)