Dr. KARL VOLLMOeLLER, who is chiefly notable for his spectacle "The Miracle," has, _The Express_ tells us, been acting for the past month as Germany's head Press agent in Rome, and has now sailed for New York. One would have thought that there was greater need for him in Germany, where only a miracle can save the situation. * * * Publishers seem to be realising that books, to sell nowadays, must have warlike titles. Mrs. KATE DOUGLAS WIGGIN'S new volume is, we note, called _A Summer in a Canon_. * * * By the way, _The Price of Love_ is announced. It is six shillings. * * * * * Illustration: Hawker. "THIS AIN'T MY USUAL WAY O' GITTIN' A LIVIN', LIDY; BUT, OWIN' TO THE WAR, I----" _Housekeeper._ "THAT'S ALL NONSENSE! WHY, TO MY KNOWLEDGE YOU HAVE BEEN ABOUT FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS." Hawker. "YOU'LL PARDON ME, LIDY, BUT I'M REFERRIN' TO THE SOUF AFRIKIN WAR." * * * * * EPITHETS FOR ACTORS. The dramatic critic of _The Daily Chronicle_, speaking of the first performance of _Mameena_, observes, "Mr. Oscar Asche, jutting, preponderant and softly corrugated, was a splendid Zulu chief." Following this distinguished example, we have endeavoured to express the histrionic inwardness of some of our leading actors and actresses on similar lines:-- Sir GEORGE ALEXANDER, dolicocephalic, fimbriated and supra-lapsarian, interpreted the _role_ of the archdeacon with consummate skill. Sir HERBERT BEERBOHM TREE, goliardic, tarantulated and pontostomatous, invested the character of the great financier with a fluorescent charm. Mr. AINLEY, prognathous, salicylic and partially oxydised, made a superb lover. Miss GLADYS COOPER, lambent, pyramidal and turturine, fully realized the polyphonic cajoleries of _Seraphina_. * * * * * A Coincidence. _Thursday._--The Kaiser distributes 30,000 iron crosses. _Friday._--Great Britain declares pig-iron contraband of war. * * * * * "Members of the Tooloona Rifle Club have collected 1,000 fat sheep as a gift to the British troops. The price of butter has been reduced to L4 per ton, and the wheels of the export trade will be immediately set in motion." _Daily Chronicle._ How fortunate that the price of lubrication fell just in time. * * * * * ANOTHER "SCRAP OF PAPER." [_"The Times" of October 1st vouches for the following Army Order issued by the German KAISER on August 19th: "It is my Royal and Imperial Command that you concentrate your energies, for the immediate present, upon one single purpose, and that is that you address all your skill and all the valour of my soldiers to exterminate first the treacherous English and walk over General French's contemptible little Army."_]