Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
And goodly interest it shall not lack,
A generous rate per cent. for every particle;
We take the raw material, sending back
The manufactured article.
* * * * *
MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY STORIES.
V.--A HUNTING MORN.
(_In the approved manner of the Sporting Feuilleton._)
Setting his teeth determinedly, Ralph Wonderson swarmed up the
Virginia-creeper until he reached the closely-shuttered window. Here he
clung precariously with one hand while with the other he produced a
gimlet and noiselessly bored two holes in the green shutters. Was he too
late? The question shot through his brain. With a quick intake of breath
he applied an eye to one hole and an ear to the other and watched and
listened.
In the lighted room before him sat Sir Ernest Scrivener (_alias_
Marmaduke Moorsdyke) and a brutal-looking stranger. Sir Ernest was
speaking.
"Everything, I think, is ready," he said in his cold, level voice. "The
wedding is to take place in the village church to-morrow at eleven. You,
Ragley, will take up your position, disguised as a policeman, by the
church porch, arrest Wonderson on a charge of arson, and detain him
until I arrive, if I should not be already there. I have here the
policeman's uniform complete. We are cub-hunting to-morrow morning, and
at the proper moment I shall leave the hunt and make my way across to
the church, provided with the forged warrant of arrest (which I shall,
as a magistrate, hand to you), the forged death certificate of my
present wife, and the forged special licence for the marriage of Lady
Margaret Tamerton and myself. You will then rush Wonderson off in the
motor which will be waiting, and I shall proceed to marry Lady Margaret.
Yes--yes, everything is quite ready."
"There's just one thing, Sir," said Ragley, "if you'll excuse me
mentioning it. Supposing as how the lady refuses like."
Sir Ernest tossed away his half-smoked cigar and smiled evilly.
"That has been foreseen," he said. "The shock of Wonderson's arrest will
cause her to feel faint. I shall have ready a bottle of smelling salts.
I need not go into details ... drugs ... loss of will power ... you
see...."
The blood boiling in Ralph's ears prevented him from hearing more. Only
the sight of the two murderous-looking revolvers on the table and the
knowledge that he could not afford to take risks at this juncture
stopped him from tearing open the shutters and dashing into the room.
Sir Ernest rose to his feet and simultaneously Ralph slid down the
creeper and regained _terra firma_. His mind was working rapidly.
* * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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