Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 16, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Two minutes later Sir Ernest found the exhausted fox lying insensible by
the roadside. Glancing up, he perceived Ralph vanishing over the crest
of a hill.
"Curse him!" he muttered savagely. "Curse him! I must and will overtake
him before he reaches the church or the game is up. If I take a short
cut under the hill I can outwit him yet. Curse him again!"
Mercilessly lashing his foaming horse, he galloped in the direction of
the church. As he rode a sense of the urgency of the situation grew upon
him. If he arrived first, Wonderson could be arrested, if necessary at
the pistol's point, before he entered the churchyard, and the papers
recovered. If he was too late.... He plunged his spurs an inch deep into
his weary mount.
At length the desperate Mazeppa-like dash was over. As he shot through
the lych-gate Sir Ernest breathed a sigh of relief. A policeman stood by
the church porch awaiting him. Wonderson had been beaten.
With an ugly laugh of triumph he swung himself from the horse. Stolidly
the constable turned to face him. Sir Ernest gave one startled
exclamation as he saw, not Ragley, but a stranger. He had been
forestalled.
The heavy hand of a second policeman fell on his shoulder from behind.
"Sir Ernest Scrivener," said a voice solemnly, "I arrest you on a charge
of forgery, and I advise you to come quietly."
Sir Ernest glanced round and saw that he was completely surrounded by
police.
As the handcuffs clicked over his wrists there crashed above him the
joyous clamour of wedding bells.
* * *
Ralph Wonderson paused for a moment at the lych-gate, his lovely
fair-haired bride clinging to his arm. Standing in the mellow beauty of
the English landscape they made a memorable picture. A red-coated
figure, covered with the stains of hard riding, approached them, bowing
low. In his hand he held a magnificent fox's brush.
"This has been unanimously awarded to you, Sir," he said, "as a memento
of the finest ride in the annals of the Chingerley Hunt."
And, as Ralph and his bride raised the brush to their lips, from the
admiring throng which pressed about them went up that thrilling
immemorial hunting chorus, "_Tally-ho! Yoicks forrard! Rah! Rah!_"
* * * * *
ANOTHER MANIFESTO.
We, the undersigned, having carefully considered the situation in all
its bearings and applications, have come to the decision that it is no
longer consonant with the self-respect of Englishmen to share a name
with the great swollen-headed German aggressor--the despiser of
treaties, the desecrator of Belgium and the foe of the liberty of the
world. We therefore give notice that from now and henceforward we
renounce the name of William in all its variations.
(_Signed_)
WILLIAM ARCHER.
WILLIAM ASHMEAD-BARTLETT.
WILLIAM BOOSEY.
BURGLAR BILL (Shade of).
WILLIE CLARKSON.
WILL CROOKS.
WILLIAM DE MORGAN.
WILL EVANS.
GULIELMO FERRERO.
WILLIAM GUNN.
WILLIAM KNIGHT.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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