Still when pagan peoples sever Railway line and telegraph Thou shalt keep thy staunch endeavour, Thou shalt scatter us like chaff. Still, O goddess of the Prussians, Thou shalt sound thy trump of tin Undeterred by rude concussions While the Frenchmen hail the Russians On the flagstones of Berlin. EVOE. * * * * * A German Motto:--"Gott mit Huns." * * * * * Illustration: THE GREAT ILLUSION. KAISER. "MY POOR BIRD, WHAT _HAS_ HAPPENED TO YOUR TAIL-FEATHERS?" GERMAN EAGLE. "CAN YOU BEAR THE TRUTH, SIRE?" KAISER. "IF IT'S NOT FOR PUBLICATION." GERMAN EAGLE. "IT'S LIKE THIS, THEN. YOU TOLD ME THE BRITISH LION WAS CONTEMPTIBLE. WELL--HE WASN'T!" * * * * * Illustration: FROM OUR SPECIALLY CREDULOUS CORRESPONDENT. _Stoker._ "I SEE THE TORPEDO APPROACHIN' US; SO, WITHOUT WAITIN' FER ANY ORDERS, I DIVES OVERBOARD, JUST GIVES 'IM A FLICK ON 'IS LITTLE RUDDER, AN' OFF 'E GOES TO STARB'D AN' PASSES US 'ARMLESSLY BY." * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.) _House of Commons, Monday, Sept. 14._--House met to-day with proud feeling of altered circumstance. A fortnight ago things looked bad in France. Allied Armies were continuing prolonged retreat not made more acceptable by being officially named "Retirement." A detailed narrative compiled in neighbourhood of the Army had described the little British Force, long fighting at odds of four to one, as "broken to pieces." Seemed as if Paris were on verge of another triumphal entry by German forces: France on eve of a second Sedan. To-day a more hurried retreat is daily accumulating speed. This time it is the invader who, in order to avoid final disaster, is racing back to the comparative safety of his own country, whilst French and British, elate with repeated victory, hang with uncomfortable closeness on his heels. "In the matter of carefully planned advance and sudden withdrawal, we have," said the MEMBER FOR SARK, "a parallel episode in our own military history. You remember how 'the gallant Duke of YORK' on an expedition to Flanders had 'twice ten thousand men,' how he 'marched them up to the top of the hill And marched them down again'? The simple verse lends itself with easy adaptability to present circumstances of our old friend the EMPEROR WILLIAM:-- "The gallant plumed WILHELM Had twice a million men; He marched them up to Paris town And marched them back again."