Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 23, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 23, 1914Various
History
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 23, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Germans on board, who were arrested, stated that reports circulated
in Hamburg declared that the British troops had been annihilated
and Paris was in flames.
"Sixty-two British ships lie at Hamburg."
They must have caught it from the Germans.
* * * * *
PROBATION.
(_To a King's Recruit._)
Now is your time of trial, now
When into dusk the glamour pales
And the first glow of passion fails
That lit your eyes and flushed your brow
In that great moment when you made your vow.
The Vision fades; you scarce recall
The sudden swelling of the heart,
The swift resolve to have your part
In this the noblest quest of all
By which our word is given to stand or fall.
Your mother's pride, your comrades' praise--
All that romance that seemed so fair
Grows dim, and you are left to bear
The prose of duty's sombre ways
And labour of the long unlovely days.
Yet here's the test to prove you kin
With those to whom we trust our fate,
Sober and steadfast, clean and straight,
In that stern school of discipline
Hardened to war against the foe within.
For only so, in England's sight,
By that ordeal's searching flame
Found worthy of your fathers' fame,
With all your spirit's armour bright
Can you go forth in her dear cause to fight.
O. S.
* * * * *
UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER.
No. 1.
(_From Herr Von Bethmann Hollweg._)
MAJESTY,--Though you will never receive this letter, I feel that I must
write it if only to relieve my mind of an intolerable burden. There is
no doubt about it, things are not going well with us, and we shall soon
be in a situation of a most deplorable kind. Our armies have been driven
back in France--this is what VON STEIN means when he declares that we
have had "partial successes"--and Paris, which was to be captured weeks
ago, seems to be as strong and as defiant as ever. The English are still
unbroken and are pouring new armies into France. In Galicia the wretched
Austrians are running like sheep; even Servia has beaten them and is
invading Hungary and Bosnia; and our wonderful fleet, which cost so much
good money, is bottled up. Soon we shall have the Cossacks on our backs,
and then the dance will begin in earnest.
But you don't care--not a bit of it. You've been prancing about and
making speeches and showing yourself on balconies and congratulating God
on being such a good German. Do for Heaven's sake give us all a rest. We
are in for a frightful war, and untold miseries are sure to fall upon
us. Do you suppose that we shall be helped to bear them if you continue
to act like an inebriated madman in the sight of the whole world?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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