"Two medals for that," said the Emperor with ready wit, and there was not a wet eye as he placed them in their proud position. The Vizier beckoned to a youthful officer on whose lip the down was hardly yet visible. But though young in years he was already every inch a soldier of his country. "This gallant gentleman," said the Vizier, "unaided, and at great personal risk, shot a baby in arms." "In arms?" asked the monarch sharply. "Surely that mitigates the heroism?" "I meant in its mother's arms," the Vizier hastily explained. "Ah!" said the Emperor with a sigh of relief, "that reassures me." And amid profound excitement he embraced the soldier, pinned the coveted badge to his breast and bade him quickly return to the front to carry on the great work. "The next reward is for resource in emergency," said the master of ceremonies an hour or so later. He beckoned to a superb officer, splendid in his trappings--a blue-eyed colossus of nearly six-feet-six. "This highborn Captain," said the Vizier, "snatched some women from their beds and pushed them before his men so that the enemy should not shoot." The hall resounded with applause. "'Twas a brilliant thought," said the Emperor. "Not only will we decorate him for intelligence, but for valour." "The last is for chivalry, Sire," said the master of the ceremonies, indicating the remaining award. An officer stood forth. "This warrior," said the Vizier, "ordered his men to trample down some public flower-beds in the enemy's capital." "Bravely done," said the Emperor. "A great and imaginative lesson. We'll learn them to resist invasion!" Amid renewed demonstrations of loyalty and fervour the Emperor brought the proceedings to a close. "Among so many deeds of valour," he said, "I find it impossible to say which is the most splendid. All are glorious. I am in a position to assure you that Heaven is proud of you. The Fatherland also is proud of you, and, above all, I am proud of you. May the blessings of Heaven continue to fall upon our great and merciful campaign for the right!" With these words the proceedings terminated and the heroes hurried back to the fighting line, eager to win more laurels by similar feats of culture. * * * * * SIDELIGHTS ON THE WAR. It is frequently remarked that the present war will be far-reaching in its consequences. The truth of this is apparent from the following notices, gathered at random from the column of "Personal Paragraphs" which the Editor of _The Shrimpington-on-Sea Gazette_ publishes weekly, without charge, thereby earning the reputation of a patriot:-- IN CONSEQUENCE OF the present crisis in the Money Market, Mrs. Pincham desires to give notice that she hereby disclaims all liability for any debts contracted by her at Bridge, and the same will not be paid.