Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 2nd, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 2nd, 1914Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, September 2nd, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Lord Tamerton stared up at the ring with ashen lips. With such an
official in charge nothing but a miracle could save Ralph Wonderson from
being disqualified in the first round. The House of Tamerton was more
utterly ruined than ever.
But in thirty seconds Ralph, trained in many sports to meet all
emergencies, had summed up the situation and decided upon his course of
action.
The gong sounded and the two pugilists advanced warily towards each
other. Suddenly Ralph lashed out a terrific right which, as he intended,
missed the Mauler by a foot. Unable, apparently, to retain his balance,
he swung completely round with the impetus of the blow, and his clenched
fist landed squarely upon the referee's jaw. Sir Ernest shot high over
the ropes and crashed down on the Dowager Duchess of Cumbersea, whence
he rebounded with terrible force into the arms of the Marquis of
Meltington.
After a brief delay all three were removed to the hospital.
* * * * *
The fight, under a new referee, was in its twentieth round. Not a sound
could be heard beyond the shuffling of the pugilists' feet and the thud
of fist on flesh.
Feinting with his left, the Mauler clinched heavily with his right, but
Ralph foiled the attack with a clever half-nelson. Again Mills swung his
right, and again Ralph parried the blow, this time by sending his left
to the funny-bone and thus paralysing the arm. He then dashed in and
uppercut his opponent severely on the occiput. Mauler Mills staggered to
the ropes, to which he clung frantically in order to preserve his
balance.
A savage roar went up from the crowd, roused now to a pitch of frenzied
excitement. "Now you've got him! Finish him! Put him out!" they shouted.
But Ralph, chivalrous as always, drew back, bowed formally to his
opponent and quietly awaited his recovery.
Presently, after a courteous enquiry and an assurance from the Mauler
that he was quite ready, the pair exchanged a warm handshake and renewed
their combat.
Taking a deep breath, Ralph advanced with cat-like tread and flashing
eyes upon his adversary. Knowing from painful experience what to expect,
the latter circled cautiously away, covering his face with his hands.
But Ralph, realising that time was short, determined not to be baffled.
Combining the agility of the chamois with the ponderous strength of the
hippopotamus, he crouched low and sprang like a tiger through the air
upon the unhappy Mauler, striking him full on the solar plexus. White to
the lips, the Mauler fell squirming to the floor, while Ralph
nonchalantly adjusted a lock of hair which had floated loose.
"_One--two--three ..._" the voice of the referee was like the voice of
inexorable Fate ... "_four--five--six ..._" Lady Margaret gripped her
brother's arm till his hair stood on end ... "_seven--eight ..._" The
Countess of Snecks fainted with a loud shriek ... "_nine--Out_"!
The great fight was won. The House of Tamerton was saved.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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