E-text prepared by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 27967-h.htm or 27967-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/9/6/27967/27967-h/27967-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/7/9/6/27967/27967-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 147 SEPTEMBER 30, 1914 CHARIVARIA. The German troops which started out for a "pleasure trip" to Paris are now reported, owing, no doubt, to the influence of British environment, to be taking their pleasures sadly. * * * Several reasons have been given for the destruction of Rheims Cathedral. The real one is now said to be the following. Owing to the Red Cross Flag being flown from one of the towers the Germans thought the building was only a hospital. * * * A Scotsman gifted with much native humour wishes it to be known how glad he is to see that the Frenchmen have been getting their Aisne back. * * * It is reported that the KAISER is proceeding to East Prussia to assume the chief command there. In Petrograd the news is only credited by extreme optimists. * * * It does not say much for the enterprise of our English newspapers that we should have had to go all the way to India for a reference to what must have been an exceedingly clever capture of one of the enemy. "As the war progresses," says _The Times of India_ of the 20th ult., "the stories of German brutality become more and more frequent. One instance is shown in a letter from a German soldier captured in a mail-bag in Lorraine." * * * We have always held that the Turkish sense of humour has been underrated. A leading Ottoman statesman has told _Der Tag_ (the newspaper of that name: the real thing has not turned up yet): "We only fear for Germany one thing--her magnanimity towards the conquered, a quality which she shares with the great Turkish conquerors of the past." * * * There is reported to be an uneasy feeling among the poor in our big towns that, if hard times should come, an attempt will be made to foist on them many of the weirder garments which kind-hearted ladies have been making for the troops. * * * The attention of the public is being directed to the value of fish as a food, in contradistinction, we suppose, to its remarkable qualities as a perfume. * * * Mr. LLOYD GEORGE'S statement that "The Prussian Junker is the road-hog of modern Europe" has, we hear, had a curious and satisfactory sequel. Large numbers of adepts in the art of pig-sticking are joining the Sportsmans' Battalion which is now in process of formation. * * *