Punch, or The London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 17th 1915Various
History
Punch, or The London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 17th 1915
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
In the nursery my two little charges were playing with soldiers; a tall
and apparently young man was lying on the floor beside them. At my
entrance he scrambled to his feet.
"Stop the battle a moment," he said, "while we interrogate the invader."
"I am Fräulein Schmidt," I introduced myself, "the new governess."
"And I," he said with a bow, "am Lord Kitchener. You have arrived just
in time. Another five minutes and I should have wiped out the German
army."
"Oh shut up, Uncle Horace, you wouldn't," shouted one of the boys.
It was Lord Kitchener! He had shaved off his heavy moustache, and by so
doing had given himself a deceptive appearance of youth, but there could
be no doubt about his identity. Horatio Herbert Kitchener, the great
English War Lord! In the light of after-events, how instructive was this
first meeting!
"What is the game?" I asked, hiding my feelings under a smile. "England
against Germany?"
"England and Scotland and Ireland and Australia and a few others. We
have ransacked the nursery and raked them all in."
So even at this time England had conceived the perfidious idea of
forcing her colonies to fight for her!
"And some Indian soldiers?" I asked, nodding at half-a-dozen splendid
Bengal Lancers. It struck me even then as very significant; and it is
now seen to be proof that for years previously England had been plotting
an invasion of the Fatherland with a swarm of black mercenaries.
Lord Kitchener evidently saw what was in my mind, and immediately
exerted all his well-known charm to efface the impression he had
created.
"You mustn't think," he said with a smile, "that the policy of the
Cabinet is in any way affected by what goes on at 'Chez Nous.' Although
Sir Edward Grey and I----"
He broke off suddenly, and, in the light of what has happened since,
very suspiciously.
"Have you had any tea?" he asked. His relations with the notorious Grey
were evidently not to be disclosed.
* * *
I met Lord Kitchener on one other occasion, but it is only since England
forced this war upon Europe that I have seen that second meeting in its
proper light.
I had been out shopping, and when I came back I found him in the garden
playing with the children. We talked for a little on unimportant
matters, and then I saw his eye wandering from me to the drawing-room. A
soldier had just stepped through the open windows on to the lawn.
"Hallo," said Lord Kitchener, "it's Johnny."
As the latter came up Lord Kitchener smacked him warmly on the back.
"Well," he said, "my martial friend, how many Germans have you killed?"
Then seeing that his friend appeared a little awkward he introduced him
to me. "Fräulein Schmidt, this is one of our most famous warriors--Sir
John French."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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