"Alas! what boots it with incessant care To strictly meditate the thankless Meuse?" _Milton: "Lycidas."_ * * * * * [Illustration: _Bobbie_ (_as his father exhibits his new Volunteer uniform_). "WELL! MOTHER--I SAY! THIS BRINGS WAR HOME TO US, DOESN'T IT?"] * * * * * OUR PERSONAL COLUMN. Many of the other papers have a Personal Column. Why should not _Mr. Punch_ have one? He shall. * * * MLLE. FORGETMÉNOT bien arrivée à Londres le 14 Février. Où est M. Valentin? * * * K.--Qte uslss apply frthr. Am absltly brke. Try yr uncl.--M. * * * JEHOSHAPHAT.--Will all Jehoshaphats combine to send bridge tables to the Front for use of brave boys? Subscriptions, limited to £10 each, should be sent to Jehoshaphat Downie, Esq., 25, Sun Row, Chelsea. * * * FLORENCE.--I was there and waited from 1.30 till midnight. Cannot do this often as I have tendency to pneumonia. * * * WILL anyone lend young man £500 on note of hand alone to enable him to procure clothes in which to present himself at recruiting office? Nothing but shabbiness of his wardrobe keeps him from enlisting.--Box 41, Office of this paper. * * * FOUND in neighbourhood of the Adelphi.--An Iron Cross, evidently awarded by the KAISER. Initials upon it, "G. B. S." The owner is anxiously invited to apply for it in person.--E. G., Foreign Office. * * * SHIRTS for our troops at the Front are still urgently needed. Please send needles, cotton and material to Sister Susie, Drury Lane Theatre, W.C. All persons desiring to sing about her activities should note that the song is not published by Brothers Boosey but by another firm. * * * LOST, Wednesday, February 10th, between Acton and Blackheath, a one-pound note, signed by John Bradbury.--Anyone returning the same to X, at the Widowers' Club, will receive 1/- reward and no questions asked. * * * SMITH.--Will everyone named Smith at once send a sovereign to John Smith, Esq., 103, Old Jewry, E.C.? Patriotic purpose to which money will be put will be explained later. * * * WIFE of popular actor now serving in France would much appreciate the loan of a London house, with servants and motor car thrown in.--Box 81, Office of this paper. * * * A.B.C.--Please make no further effort to meet me. The depth of my loathing for you can never be expressed in words, at least not in this column.--J. * * *