Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 3, 1915Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 3, 1915
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Yes, in your case, Sinclair, it is merely moral cowardice," said
Henry. "But it's queer about golf. Every one admits that billiards is
all right, and--I think--Badminton."
"Well, perhaps I am a bit over-sensitive," said I, "but I'm bound to
say that even if I were playing billiards in a public place at present
I should feel happier if I used the butt end of the cue."
"The problem seems to be closely allied," said the Reverend Henry, "to
the problem of Sabbath observance when I was a child. We were very
strict in our household. We were not allowed to play games of any sort
on Sunday so long as they were played according to the accepted rules;
but we discovered after a time that if we played them _wrong_ no one
objected. We should certainly have been punished for playing tennis
with a tennis racquet, but if we played with a walking-stick or the
flat side of a pair of bellows there was not the slightest objection."
"That's what I feel like," said Sinclair. "I don't want to do the old
things in the old ways."
"We never have people to dinner now," said I, "but we have shoals to
lunch."
"It is all deplorably illogical," said the Reverend Henry. "But so long
as one has a sense of decency it seems impossible to scorch about in a
motor bulging with golf clubs."
"Quite impossible. I propose that we get Mrs. Henry to make us some
sandwiches and go for a long walk."
It was at this juncture that the morning papers came in with the news
of the battle cruiser victory in the North Sea.... We had a fine run
across the moor in the big car, an excellent lunch at "The George," and
managed to get in two rounds before it was dark.
* * * * *
[Illustration: OUR SPECIAL VOLUNTEER RESERVES.
_Instructor._ "CHANGE ARMS BY NUMBERS. ONE--TWO----COME ALONG, SIR!
WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT NOW? KEEP YOUR BANJO SOLO FOR THE DOMESTIC
HEARTH."]
* * * * *
ON THE SPY TRAIL.
II.
People don't always know that Jimmy's dog is a bloodhound. One man
said it was a Great Scott--at least that is what he said when he saw
it. You see, when it is pensive, it sometimes looks like a spaniel and
sometimes like an Airedale--or it would if it hadn't got smooth hair
and a bushy tail which curls. Jimmy was undecided for a long time what
to call it.
The milkman said Jimmy ought to call it "For instance," and then people
would know what it was for. The milkman thought of a lot more names
before a week was over, for Jimmy's bloodhound tracked down a can of
his milk and lapped it up. It is a very good lapper. It lapped so hard
that Jimmy had to pull the can off its head. Jimmy said it was the
suction and that all good bloodhounds were like that.
A man stopped Jimmy in the street and asked him if that was the dog
that tracked down the German spy to his lair. Jimmy said it was, and
the man was very pleased: he patted the bloodhound on the head and
said, "Good old Faithful!"--just like that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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