The Bells of Berlin how they hearten the Hun (_O dingle dong dangle ding dongle ding dee_); No matter what devil's own work has been done They chime a loud chant of approval, each one, Till the people feel sure of their place in the sun (_O dangle ding dongle dong dingle ding dee_). If HINDENBURG hustles an enemy squad (_O dingle dong dangle ding dongle ding dee_), The bells all announce that the alien sod Is damp with the death of some thousand men odd, Till the populace smiles with a gratified nod (_O dangle ding dongle dong dingle ding dee_). If TIRPITZ behaves like a brute on the brine (_O dingle dong dangle ding dongle ding dee_), The bells with a clash and a clamour combine To hint that the Hated One's on the decline, And the city gulps down the good tidings like wine (_O dangle ding dongle dong dingle ding dee_). The Bells of Berlin, are they cracked through and through (_O dingle dong dangle ding dongle ding dee_), Or deaf to the discord like Germany too? For whether their changes be many or few, The worst of them is that they never ring true (_O dangle ding dongle dong dingle ding dee_). * * * * * [Illustration: THE DISSEMBLERS. [JANUARY 27TH.] EMPEROR OF AUSTRIA. "NOW WHAT DO WE REALLY WANT TO SAY?" SULTAN OF TURKEY. "WELL, OF COURSE WE COULDN'T SAY _THAT_; NOT ON HIS BIRTHDAY."] * * * * * THE LAST FIGHT OF ALL. Every morn we met together On our journey up to town, Guyed the Government and weather, Ran all other nations down; And, whenever (very seldom) Strangers' visages were seen, With indignant looks we quelled'em On the 9.17. But to-day there's none remaining To bestow the crushing glance. Down in Surrey Smith is training, Brown is somewhere out in France; Going through his martial paces, Jones is billeted at Sheen; Strangers seize the sacred places On the 9.17. But when once, the struggle ended, Men resume their normal toil There will be one final, splendid Battle fought on English soil; And the populace enraptured From their evening Press shall glean: "Heavy fighting; seats recaptured On the 9.17." * * * * * THE WAR AND THE BOOKS. "Nowhere," says a contemporary, "is the influence of the War more apparent than in the publishers' lists." We venture to anticipate a few items that are promised for this time next year:-- For Lovers of Bright Fiction. NEW GERMAN FAIRY TALES. Selected from the Official Wireless. 550 pp., large quarto, 10_s._ 6_d._ The first review says, "Deliciously entertaining ... powers of imagination greatly above the ordinary. The story of "Hans across the Sea, or the Eagles in Egypt," will make you rock with laughter."