"I have spoken of the good there is in grooves, in the groovy way of life ... Who can be blind to the fact that life in a groove leads to bigotry and nar-grooves, in the groovy way of life?" "_Claudius Clear_" in "_The British Weekly._" Not we. We have never been blind to anything of the sort. * * * * * "Little Lady, during all these months thoughts entirely with you, treasuring up unbleaching memory of happy hours spent together."--_Advertisement in "The Times._" Presumably in the wash-house. Unless some confusion arose, in the mind of the advertiser, between dying and bleaching. * * * * * ECONOMY IN DRESS: THE NEW SMARTNESS. [Illustration: "IT'S LOVELY, BUT I'M AFRAID THIRTY GUINEAS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME." "IT _IS_ A GOOD DEAL, BUT MADAM MUST REMEMBER THIS A GENUINE OLD DRESS. WE GUARANTEE IT TO HAVE BEEN IN CONSTANT WEAR FOR AT LEAST FIVE YEARS."] * * * * * [Illustration: "I SAY! THAT'S A SMART FROCK, IF YOU LIKE!" "H'M, YES. BUT IT'S ONLY IMITATION--NOT REAL OLD."] * * * * * [Illustration: "I LIKE IT, BUT IT LOOKS DREADFULLY NEW." "IF YOU FEEL THAT, MADAM, MIGHT I SUGGEST THAT YOU HAVE IT SOILED BY OUR SPECIAL PROCESS? WE ONLY CHARGE THREE GUINEAS EXTRA."] * * * * * [Illustration: "COME ALONG, MABEL. DON'T MAKE YOUR MOUTH WATER LOOKING IN THERE. OLD CLOTHES ARE NOT FOR THE LIKES OF US."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Visitor._ "And how did you _know_ when you were wounded?" _Tommy._ "SAW IT IN _THE DAILY MAIL._"] * * * * * MATCH PLAY. Since the Budget was produced the match-mendicant is at work more industriously than ever, patting his pockets and looking round expectantly at his fellow-travellers. The surreptitious filling of private boxes in restaurants and club smoke-rooms is rapidly on the increase. Yet if men would only meet the proposed match-tax calmly and thoughtfully they might still remain honest and independent. There are too many three-match men. Just as the tennis-player sends down the first ball into the net with a fine abandon, and is more careful with the second, so the three-match man strikes his first match without arresting his progress along the street, only slows down a little with the second, and not until the third is in his fingers does he look about for a doorway. If deep doorways and public telephone boxes were put to better use by the smokers of England much waste of matches would be avoided.