A prominent City barber points out to an _Evening News_ correspondent that it would be most unfortunate if the high cost of shaves should result in a discontinuance of the practice of tipping the operator, and adds that only two of the services have increased in price. He means, of course, to draw attention to the fact that sporting chatter, dislocation of the neck, and the removal of superfluous portions of the ears are still provided free of charge. * * * * * Anti-Climax. From a _feuilleton_ (showing what our serial fictionists have to put up with):-- "'To-morrow?' repeated Rosalie, dully. 'I'm afraid I can't to-morrow.' To-morrow----! There will be another fine instalment to-morrow."--_Daily Mirror._ * * * * * OF COCOA AND CERTAIN OLD ASSOCIATIONS REVIVED BY A DRAUGHT OF THIS NUTRITIOUS BEAN. ["The rate on cocoa is raised from 1-1/2_d._ to 6_d._ per lb." (Loud cheers). _The CHANCELLOR'S Budget Speech._] Now, ere the price thereof goes soaring up, Ere yet the devastating tax comes in, I wish to wallow in the temperate cup (Loud cheers) that not inebriates, like gin; Ho, waiter! bring me--nay, I do not jest-- A cocoa of the best! Noblest of all non-alcoholic brews, Rich nectar of the Nonconformist Press, Tasting of CADBURY and _The Daily News_, Of passive martyrs and the law's distress, And redolent of the old narcotic spice Of peace-at-any-price-- What memories, how intolerably sweet, Hover about its fat and unctuous fumes! Of Little England and a half-baked Fleet, Of German friendship pure as vernal blooms, And that dear country's hallowed right to dump Things on us in the lump; Of tropic isles whereon this beverage springs, And niggers sweating out their pagan souls; Of British workmen, flattered even as kings, So to secure their suffrage at the polls; Of liberty for all to go on strike Just when and where they like. I would renew these wistful dreams to-night; For, since upon my precious nibs, when ground, McKENNA's minions, with to-morrow's light, Will plant a tax of sixpence in the pound, My sacred memories, cheap enough before, Will clearly cost me more. O. S. * * * * * ANOTHER SCRAP OF PAPER. I look all right, and I feel all right, but the doctor said the Army was no place for me. Having given me a piece of paper which said so, he looked over my head and called out, "Next, please." It was with this document I was going to produce a delicious thrill--what I might call an "electric" moment. I carefully rehearsed what should happen, though I was not quite sure what attitude to adopt--whether to give the impression that I was a member of a pacific society, look elaborately unconcerned or truculently youthful. This, I decided, had better be left to the psychological moment.