But some'ow Flanders got a miss, An' I came East, the same as you, Right East, an' finished up wi' this; _I_ seen them towns and islands too. But Injer! Lor, it's like a book Or like a bloomin' fancy ball; There's somethin' every way you look, An' me--young me--I seen it all. I know about them "dark bazaars"-- An' dark they is--I know them skies, An' suns an' moons an' silver stars An' 'ummin'-birds an' fiery-flies. I seen the palms an' parrokeets, I've 'eard the jackals in the night, I've ate them beas'ly Injian sweets An' smelt the Injian fires alight. But I'm with you, old P. an' O.; The goin' 'ome'll be the best; An' not the 'ome we useter know, But better, 'cos we've known the rest. * * * * * TUBANTIA CRIME. "Sworn Evidence of Torpedo." _Liverpool Daily Post._ We hope it confessed its crime. * * * * * "The village is in utter darkness these nights, and many of the lamp-posts are getting severe knocks, not speaking of the foot pedestrians."--_Ardrossan Herald._ Some of the foot pedestrians are said to have been less reticent about the lamp-posts. * * * * * "Would patriotic owner LEND INCUBATOR or Foster increase British production, or buy cheap? Every care; experienced; eggs waiting; ineligible; clergy ref."--_The Times._ It is a little cryptic; but we gather that, at any rate, the partial soundness of these eggs will be guaranteed by the curate. * * * * * [Illustration: _Sentry (at Remount Camp)._ "Halt! Who goes there?" _Weary Voice._ "One friend and two mules."] * * * * * MIVINS'S NEW BOOKS. Mr. Mivins begs to present FOUR WONDERFUL WORKS BY Four astounding Authors. *** PRINCE CHARMING. By Egbert Gunn (_Third large edition already exhausted_). "An incomparable achievement. The uniquest thing yet done by Mr. GUNN. He has eclipsed Balzac, wiped the floor with George Sand, while panting Tolstoi 'toils after him in vain.'"--_Daily Exhaust._ *** POTLAND FOR EVER! By Roland Sennett. "The greatest literary portent of all time. Here the Black Country is painted in all its inspissated gloom by a master-hand--sardonic, salubrious, superb.... We approach this work on all-fours. Any other attitude on the part of a reviewer would be sheer blasphemy." _The Monthly Margarine._ *** THE UNPLUMBED ABYSS. By Drax Homer. _First great Notice_: "By the side of Mr. Drax Homer, Edgar Allan Poe is a fumbler, and Gaboriau the veriest tiro. In these supremely arresting pages Mr. Drax Homer voices the cosmic mystery with unerring skill, and ranges over the whole gamut of the gruesome. He is the Napoleon of sensation, the Julius Caesar of melodrama."--_Daily Idolater._ ***