Then I crept out in the night, an' I waited for the light, But the sniper saw me fust an' scored an inner. I could 'ear the twigs divide, but I signalled 'im a "wide," Then I squinted down me barrel, an' I let me finger glide, An' I pipped 'im where 'e uster put 'is dinner. Yus, I busted up the Bosch, but I found out, at the wash, That enamel was a fast an' lastin' colour, An' the soap I used to clean made me shine a brighter green; I'm a cabbage, I'm a lettuce, I'm a walkin' kidney bean, An' I ain't a-leavin' Flanders till it's duller. * * * * * GOOD NEWS FOR TAXPAYERS. "Income-tax can be paid in the case of individuals and firms who are liable to direct assessment in respect of trade, profession, or husbandry, in two halfpenny instalments--the first on January 1, and the second on July 1."--_Glasgow Evening Times._ Lucky Scots, to get off with twa bawbees! * * * * * From an advertisement;-- "----'s Mustard Digests the Dish." And so saves washing-up. * * * * * "Strive to acquire now ideas. Vary the hour of rising. If you take luncheon out never go always to the same place."--_Daily Mail._ We seldom go always to the "Blue Lion," and usually never by the same way every time, for fear of hardly ever being unable to get out of the habit of it. * * * * * "_The Westminster Gazette_," writes a correspondent from Venice, "has always been regarded by the Italian Press as the most insular of English newspapers." Still we think that _La Difesa_, of which he encloses an extract, goes too far in referring to our esteemed contemporary as _La West-Monstergazette_. * * * * * AT THE PLAY. "The Basker." [Illustration: Miss Hilda Moore as _Mrs. Radford_.]