On reading that London people spend on an average seven shillings a year in theatre-tickets, a manager expressed the opinion that according to his experience this calculation was not quite fair. Account should also have been taken of the very large sum which they expend on stamps when writing for free admissions. * * * It is evident that recent events have had a chastening effect upon Bulgarian ambitions. After receiving a field-marshal's baton from the KAISER, KING FERDINAND is reported to have expressed his hope that by co-operation their countries would obtain that to which they had a right. The KAISER then left Nish in a hurry. * * * From El Paso (Texas) comes news that a band of Mexican bandits stopped a train near Chicuabar, seized seventeen persons, stripped them of clothing, robbed them, and then shot them dead. There is some talk of their being elected Honorary Germans. * * * China has sent a trial lot of small brown eggs packed in sawdust to this country, and it is thought that after all we shall be able to have a General Election. * * * * * [Illustration: _Private Jones_ (_crawling out after being buried by a shell explosion_). "Silly 'orse-play, _I_ calls it!"] * * * * * TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. "The able organisation which resulted in Hell being evacuated with just as complete success and the same absence of loss as at Suvla and Anzac, relieves what might otherwise be the rather melancholy spectacle of the winding up of this enterprise." _Morning Paper._ * * * * * From an article by Mr. JOHN LAYLAND on his visit to the Fleet:-- "One would like to describe much more than one has seen, but that is impossible."--_Morning Paper._ Some other Correspondents have found no such difficulty. * * * * * "Lady Secretary Required, for about two hours early every morning, by lady doctor living near the Marble Arch; rapid shorthand essential; preference given to a possessor of healthy teeth." _Advt. in "The Times."_ It looks as if the lady-secretary's luncheon would be a tough proposition. * * * * * "Our Correspondent endorses the Russian official claim to have captured the heights north-east of Czernowitz."--_Morning Paper._ The Correspondent's condescension is no doubt greatly appreciated by our Allies. * * * * * Answer to a correspondent:-- "'Enquirer.'--It is pronounced 'communeek.'"--_"Examiner," Launceston, Tasmania._ But not in the best circles. * * * * * MODERNISING LAST YEAR'S SKIRT.