Some of the pilgrims on the _Oscar II._ were much annoyed at the prohibition of card-playing on board. "What is the use," they asked, "of crying _Pax_ when there are none?" *** Some strait-laced Conservatives, who were a little shocked to see the announcement of "Mr. Balfour on the Film," were comforted on its being pointed out to them that Mr. CHAPLIN set him the example. *** A ten-year-old girl's essay on "Patriotism":--"Patriotism is composed of patriots, and they are people who live in Ireland and want Mr. Redmond or other people to be King of Ireland. They are very brave, some of them, and are so called after St. Patrick, who is Ireland's private saint. The patriots who are brave make splendid soldiers. The patriots who are not brave go to America." *** Lord KITCHENER, who has a choice collection of old china, has lately added to it several fine specimens of Crown Derby. *** So many Parliamentarians have recently requested the Treasury to stop sending them their L400 a year that a slight change in the designation of the others is suggested--P.M. (Paid Member) instead of M.P. *** A soldier's letter: "DEAR SIS,--You ask what I want--well, for Heaven's sake send us a barber! You never saw such heads in your life as we've got. Lovingly, Bob. P.S.--Failing a barber send us a box of hair-pins." *** Is it true that while the Cliff Hotel at Gorleston was blazing furiously during the gale last week a zealous official went up to the unfortunate proprietor and threatened him with pains and penalties for allowing a naked light to be seen far out at sea? *** We understand that since the entrance-fee was suspended and the subscription reduced, the Automobile Club has increased its membership so largely that the Committee are thinking of re-naming it the Omnibus. *** A conversation in the trenches:-- _Private Dougal McTavish_ (_late of the Alberta Police_): "Mon, in ma section 'tis aften fafty degrees below zero. But, bless ye, 'tis dry cold, ye'll never feel it." _L.C. Owen Tyrrell_ (_late of Carpentaria Telegraphs_): "Down-under it is usually 125 in the shade. But thin it is dry heat, you are niver sinsible of ut." _Corpl. James Brown_ (_late Tram Conductor, Vancouver_): "In B.C. we stake upon 312 to 314 rainy days in the year. But it is dry rain, it don't wet you." *** In an article on the employment of women as dentists, the writer says: "A new charm has been added to the delights of dentistry." Optimist! *** He also says that one lady "extracted 38 teeth from nine patients, and showed little signs of fatigue from it, either." But what about the nine? *** We observe that Mr. PEARCE, the Commonwealth Minister of Defence, fell while in his garden and broke two of his ribs, but are glad to learn that his condition is not serious. The conjunction of a rib, a garden, and a fall has in at least one previous case resulted in permanent injury.