They had just noticed the present possibilities of the empty lake as a substitute for Margate. Two best frocks! Essentially a moment for efficiency. I stepped firmly across the railings. And there the British Government stepped in. I turned to regard a policeman (out-size). "May I call your attention to this, Sir?" he said. I gazed at the notice like a fish:-- "ONLY CHILDREN ARE ALLOWED ON THE BED OF THE LAKE." It is still there; you can go and see it for yourself. I argued, I entreated. Either the constable had a sense of humour (and should be reported) or else a perverted sense of duty. A crowd collected. Out of the corner of my eye I could see those two best frocks. "As usual," I said bitterly but with dignity, "the British Government is too late." By the time I had persuaded the children that tea was superior to sand castles their clothes--but no, why repeat what Margaret said? I'm sure she regretted it when I had gone. But my reputation as an uncle of any technical knowledge is finished. I was so moved that I even forgot my gift to St. Bartholomew's after tea--and now I am writing a personal letter to Mr. SAMUEL about that notice in the Park. * * * * * THE ROUTE MARCH. (_In Training._) We've got our foreign-service boots--we've 'ad 'em 'alf a day; If it wasn't for the Adjutant I'd sling the brutes away; If I could 'ave my old ones back I'd give a fortnight's pay, And chuck 'em in the pair I got this morning! We've marched a 'undred miles to-day, we've 'undreds more to go, An' if you don't believe me, why, I'll tell you 'ow I know-- I've measured out the distance by the blister on my toe, For I got my foreign-service boots this morning! We've got our foreign-service boots--I wish that I was dead; I wish I'd got the Colonel's 'orse an' 'im my feet instead; I wish I was a nacrobat, I'd walk upon my 'ead, For I got my foreign-service boots this morning! We're 'oppin' and we're 'obblin' to a cock-eyed ragtime tune, Not a soul what isn't limpin' in the bloomin' 'ole balloon. But buck you up, my com-e-rades, we're off to Flanders soon, For we got our foreign-service boots this morning! * * * * * "The full tale of the German losses is being sedulously concealed. Their battered ships are licking their wounds under the Kaiser's moustache, which has been badly singed."--_The Star._ It is thought that by this time they have had quite enough of his lip. * * * * * "No further infantry attack had been delivered by either side in this area between June 3rd and June 5th. At least four battleships belonging to three different German regiments have been identified as having taken part in the original attack." _Newcastle Daily Journal._ Now we understand why the Germans were in such a hurry to get home from Jutland.