DEAR PETHERTON,--How perfectly splendid! Everything has worked out beautifully up till now. Your first note was pitched in just the proper key, and now comes your second, a perfect gem in its way. Your style reminds me more than ever of CHESTERFIELD, to whom a chair was a chair and nothing more, but a couch was an inspiration. I enclose two yellow tickets this time. Perhaps you didn't like the others. Some people don't care for pink tickets. These jolly little yellow chaps are only 1_s._ each, a consideration in these hard times. Yours very sincerely, HARRY FORDYCE. P.S.--We have a job line of green tickets at 6_d._ each to clear. Perhaps you would care to look at some. We are selling quite a lot of them this year. Petherton's reply to this was an envelope containing the fragments of two yellow tickets and a sheet of notepaper inscribed "With Mr. Frederick Petherton's compliments." As the tickets would have to be accounted for, of course there was nothing for it but to send him a bill, so I sent him one:-- F. PETHERTON, Esq., _In a/c with the Purbury Concert Committee._ To 2 tickets in yellow cardboard, 3 in. by 2-1/2 in., printed in black, with embellishments, the whole giving right of entry to the Purbury Annual Concert to be held on June 28, 1916 ... 2_s._ Your kind attention will oblige. To this Petherton made no reply, so after a few days I bought the tickets for (and from) myself, and wrote to Petherton:-- DEAR FREDDY,--You will be glad to hear that I have found someone to take your yellow tickets off my hands at the full market price. Sorry to find that the War has hit you so badly. Certainly two bob is two bob, as you apparently wish me to infer. However it is a blessing to know that the Tommies will get the extra cigarettes, isn't it? It's a pity you won't be at the concert. Your cheery presence will be greatly missed, especially by Your old pal, HARRY. The reply I received:-- Who the devil said I shouldn't be at the concert? I bought a dozen pink tickets from the Vicar as soon as I heard you were not going to perform. FREDERICK PETHERTON. It seems evident that Petherton has taken a dislike to me for some reason or other. * * * * * [Illustration: _Doctor (to wounded soldier who is on "low diet")._ "IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT, MY LAD?" _Irishman._ "OCH, DOCTOR, IF YE'D BE GIVIN' ME A NICE FAT GOOSE FOR ME DINNER, NOW?" _Doctor._ "AH, AND I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE IT STUFFED WITH SOMETHING SPECIAL, EH?" _Irishman._ "INDEED AND I WOULD. I'D LIKE IT STUFFED WITH ANOTHER WAN!"] * * * * * "Latet Anguis in Herba." "ROCK PLANTS in pots; 12 different, 2s. 6d. Cobra, rapid growing Climber, 4d. and 6d. each.--Horticultural School, Swaythling." _Provincial Paper._