Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, March 1, 1916 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, March 1, 1916Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, March 1, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Jimmy says the man next door told him he didn't mind so much about the
circulation of the blood as the circulation of the bloodhound. Jimmy
says it's because his chickens all begin shouting Hooray! as soon as
Faithful starts, and they get up trees to watch him instead of being
busy laying eggs at twopence each. Faithful doesn't want them to go up
trees, Jimmy says, and tries to make them come down, but they won't--not
on any account--and he has to leave them for other things that require
his attention.
Jimmy says there's a charwoman in one of the houses on Faithful's beat,
and sometimes you can hear her trying to char him, and then lots of
things come out through the front door, with Faithful in the middle of
them. Sometimes you don't know which is Faithful and which is a
scrubbing-brush, and it's because of the revolution. Jimmy says if
Faithful notices that anything wants doing on his way round he always
tries to do it, even though nobody knew that it wanted doing. Faithful
got a sparrow out of a greenhouse like that, Jimmy says. It was a cheeky
sparrow and kept flying about at Faithful and hiding behind the pots on
the stage. Jimmy says bloodhounds don't stand any nonsense of that sort,
and the sparrow ought to have known it. But it kept looking round
flower-pots at Faithful and chirruping at him sideways, and didn't
realise that its life hung by a thread.
Jimmy says the best of well-trained bloodhounds is that they never get
flurried; they go about their work systematically. The sparrow didn't
seem to know that, Jimmy says, and when Faithful got on the stage and
began clearing the decks for action it actually had the face to go and
pick up a worm that came out of one of the pots that fell on the ground.
Jimmy says whenever a pot rolled off the stage Faithful always looked
over the edge to see if it had arrived safely. He is always careful like
that.
Jimmy says the sparrow only escaped by the skin of its teeth, because
just as Faithful had got everything out of the way and was going to set
to work in earnest, the sparrow flew out and went and sat up in a tree
chirruping like anything. Faithful was absolutely disgusted with it,
Jimmy says.
Jimmy took his bloodhound out to the Hill Farm one morning. The farmer
was very glad to see Faithful again, Jimmy says; he told Jimmy that they
were going to cut corn and there would be a main of rabbits in them for
sure. Jimmy says bloodhounds have to turn their hands to anything these
days, even catching rabbits. Faithful didn't seem to mind, Jimmy says,
but it seemed very curious to hear the deep baying of a bloodhound in a
peaceful cornfield. Jimmy says it made the men stop work and look at
each other, and the man who was driving the reaping-machine got down to
see where it wanted oiling. You see he hadn't heard a bloodhound before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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