_Mistress._ "If you ask me, I should say it was _two-legged_ pheasants!"] *** From a Parliamentary report: "In his reply Mr. Asquith stated that the 'Peace Book' which was being prepared to meet problems which would arise after the War corresponded with the 'War Book' which was compiled years ago in anticipation of the War." This ought to put heart into the enemy. *** The Court of Appeal has decided that infants are liable to pay income tax. It is reported that Sir JOHN SIMON is preparing a stinging remonstrance. *** The Turkish New Year has been officially postponed so as to begin on March 14th, instead of on March 1st, as before. This simple but satisfactory method of prolonging the existence of a moribund empire has proved so successful that ENVER PASHA and a number of other Young Turks have indefinitely postponed their next birthdays. *** Up to the moment of writing there has been no confirmation of the report that Turkey has given her consent to the making of a separate peace by Germany on account of the economic exhaustion of the latter country. * * * * * Extract from letter to _The Westminster Gazette_:-- "'M.D.' cannot have studied dietetics, or he would know that far greater strength and endurance are produced by a fruit and herb diet than by what is termed a 'mixed diet,' e.g., the elephant, the horse and the gorilla." In the circumstances it is fortunate that the scarcity of gorillas puts them out of the reach of all but millionaire _gourmets_. * * * * * ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. "HORSE MARINE."--You say you are intrigued about _The Evening News_ poster, which announced "ASQUITH ON A MORATORIUM," and you are curious to know more about this animal. We have pleasure in informing you that it is distantly related to the megatherium, and, since the extinction of the latter, has been very generally used for hack purposes. The PREMIER may be seen any morning in the Park taking a canter on one of these superb mammals. "WINSTONIAN."--The rumour that Colonel the late First Lord of the Admiralty has offered himself the command of a mine-sweeper or, alternatively, of a platoon in the 1/100 battalion of the Chilterns, lacks confirmation. "PEER OF THE REALM."--We agree with you in regretting that Lord FISHER was unable to accept Lord BERESFORD'S invitation to come and hear him speak in your House about the Downing Street sandwichmen and other collateral subjects arising out of the Air Service debate. You will be glad however to know that Lord FISHER'S absence was not due to indisposition, but to a previous engagement to take tea on the Terrace with Mr. BALFOUR.