Just in our bit we aren't very well off for dug-outs; it isn't really what you'd call a representative sector from any point of view. But during a blizzard the other night a messenger who had mislaid himself took us for a serious trench. He made his way along, looking to right and left for some seat of authority until he came to a hole in the parados, two feet by one, where some fortunate fellow had ejected an ammunition box and was attempting to boil water on a night-light. The messenger bent low and asked huskily-- "Is this 'ere comp'ny edquarters?" The water-boiler looked up. "No," he replied, "it ain't. It's G.H.Q., but DUGGIE 'AIG ain't at 'ome to no one this evenin'." * * * * * [Illustration: _First Tommy_. "The C.O.'s recommended you for a V.C" _Second Tommy_ (_half asleep and thinking of C.B._). "Oh lumme! What 'ave I done now?"] * * * * * "GERMANS' TERRIBLE LOSSES. WHOLE CORPS WIPED OUT. BY LORD NORTHCLIFFE." _Belfast News Letter._ Yet, with commendable modesty, his lordship said nothing about this in his recent despatch. * * * * * _The Daily News_ reports the case of a conscientious objector at York who said he could not take life--he "would not even eat an egg." We ourselves have conscientious objections to that sort of egg. * * * * * OFFICERS' INSTRUCTION CLASS. [Illustration: _First Boy_. "I say, your dad seems to be getting it pretty hot." _Second Boy_. "Well, you see, this is his first war."] * * * * * TO THE KING OF SPAIN. YOUR MAJESTY, There is a little village in England nestling among wooded hills. It has sent forth its bravest and best from cottage and farm and manor-house to fight for truth and liberty and justice. The news of grievous wounds and still more grievous deaths, of men missing and captured, comes often to that quiet hamlet, and the roll of honour in the little grey stone church grows longer and longer. In the big house on the hill, at sunrise and at sunset, the young Lady of the Manor stands at the bedside of her little son, and hears him lisp his simple prayers to God, and they always end like this:-- "And God bless Father and Mother and Nurse, and send Father back soon from his howwid prison in Germany. And God bless 'specially the dear King of SPAIN, who found out about Father. Amen." The kings of the earth have many priceless possessions; they are able to confer upon each other various glittering orders of merit and distinction; but we doubt if any one of them has a dearer possession or a more genuine order of merit than this simple prayer of faith and gratitude offered at sunrise and at sunset on behalf of Your Majesty by the bedside of a little English child. * * * * * THE OLD SOLDIER. By a "Temporary" Sub.